If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
by Jeffyzfavoriteskittle27
Summary: They've been inseperable since they were kids. Who knew she'd fall in love with him? It wasn't supposed to happen. The only problem is did it happen for him? Or is her love unwanted
1. Chapter 1

I watched as my best friend in the entire world rode away on his bike. Our other friend, Jax shot me an apologetic look then hopped on his bicycle and took off after him.I knew Jax felt as helpless as I did about the situation but I understood he had to go after him. I felt the tears roll down my face. I shouldn't have told him that Jess, my only female friend, had preferred Jax. I didn' think it would bother him like that. It never did, but what did I know? I was a stupid twelve year old girl. I didn't think he'd get this upset. I watched as the gravel flew up from his tires. Jax gave me a smile and a wave over his shoulder.

"Harry please wait I'm sorry!" I didn't know it then but that was just the first time that Harry 'Opie' Winston broke my heart and it most certainly wasn't the last.

"Earth to Faye, Faith, Luanne Faith, " I snapped out of the memory quickly, seeing a hand wave in front of my feeling was so strong It was like I was 12 years old again.I shook the cobwebs out of my head to see Jax's smiling face. I took a moment to check my surroundings. I was at the garage sitting at one of the picnic tables and Jax was sitting across from me, still grinning.

"Glad to see you're back darlin'. I was beginning to get worried." I rolled my eyes.

"Shut it Teller. What do you want anyway?" He flashed me one of those million dollar smiles again and again I rolled my eyes. "Just spit it out."

"Well Ope and I would really enjoy it if you went out to dinner with us." I could smell the bullshit rolling of off him. I glanced behind him to see the new prospect walking by. He was older than we are but not by much. I was a year younger than Jax and Opie, making me 18 and still a kid in Opie's eyes. Anyway back to the prospect, he was in his early twenties I'm guessing. Jax followed my gaze just as Seth, I think that's his name, started staring at my cleavage. His thoughts written clearly on his face. In an instant, Jax was up out of his seat and in his face.

"You got a death wish asshole?" He shook his head but replied sarcastically.

"No I don't but I've been around long enough to know that she doesn't belong to anyone. She's definitely not your old lady, the brunette is." Jax turned his face away from him with a wicked smirk on his face. Before his hand could connect with his face someone grabbed his arm.

"She may not be anyone's old lady but she's family and you don't fuck with family." The venomous tone Opie' voice took on frightened me and excited me in ways that a man that's supposed to be like my brother should not. He turned his heated glance towards me.

"You okay kid?" I inwardly groaned annnnnddd the sexy feeling was gone just like that. I hated when he called me kid. I'm a grown ass woman.

"Yeah I'm okay," it wasn't until that moment that I realized there was someone with Ope. He stepped slightly to the left and I seen her. It was Donna. It was hard for me to like her but also hard for me not too with the way Opie was always talking about her. She was a sweet girl with a wild side who got hilarious when drinking. From what I could tell she loved him, not like I do, but she leaned down and gave her a small kiss and I felt my chest tighten. They started quietly whispering while his face held a big smile. I heard my name as Opie shrugged his shoulders. Donna shook her head and made her way over to me. I arched my eyebrow as she approached.

"Hey I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner with Opie, Jax, Tara, and me." I looked at Jax and he had the cat that ate the canary smirk on his face. Oh yeah Faith go out with me and Ope for dinner, nothing about their girlfriend s.

"Please say yes. I think it would be a wonderful time for us to bond and I really want to be friends."Great now I couldn't say no.

"Sure I've got nothing better to do since my date with Seth has been cancelled," I saw Jax's jaw muscle tick. "Kidding Jax kidding."

Surprisingly I really enjoyed myself at didn't go to some fancy restaurant so I didn't feel out of place in my tank top, jeans and open blue plaid button down. The little diner we went to had a family kind of feel about it. I got the impression that Tara didn't really like me but she was nice to me. To my even bigger surprise I really liked Donna. Her and I had so much in common, favorite movies and tastes in things. We both had a secret love for country music. She was really great . I think that's when the sadness hit. That should be me. We would be so great tears welled up in my eyes and for once I was glad my mom wasn't home. Mom is a nurse at . She normally works the day shift but they needed her tonight. I was glad for it. I didn't want to explain why I was crying.I made my way to the bathroom and plopped down on the floor and let myself cry. That should be me. She won't ever love him like I do. I lost myself in crying that I didn't hear the front door open. I heard footsteps down the hallway. I hurried up and dried my eyes. I quickly tried to wash my face but it was too late. Jax was already standing in the bathroom door frame. He walked into the bathroom and sat down on the floor with me. He wrapped me up in his arms and the tears started to flow again.

"So you like her huh?" I nodded.

"She's wonderful. You can tell she really loves him. He really loves her. She's so much..." he kissed the top of my head.

"I know."

"Jax how'd you know I was upset?" He pulled my face up to look at him. The tears stopped.

"Cause I know you Luanne.' I wrinkled my nose up.

"Don't first name me Jackson." He chuckled.

"Come on, we've known each other forever Faith. " I nodded and rested my head against his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming by Jax."

"Anytime darlin''

A/n: new story I couldn't wait to get it out. Let me know what you guys think please.


	2. I don't mind spending every day out

I woke up in my bed, thankfully I was dressed. I love Jax to death but I never ever wanted him to see me naked. First off, I'm way too insecure and secondly, I would never hear the end of it. I could almost hear it now. 'Hey Ope, guess what I found out? Did you know that our little Faith has a mole in her belly button? Yeah me neither, you find out a lot of weird things when you see someone naked." I looked down at my still fully clothed last thing I remember was sitting on the bathroom floor with Jax and a flask full of whiskey that he pulled out after I stopped crying. That man was seriously my best friend, I mean really how many men do you know that would have came over because they figured I'd be upset and listened to me cry about another man all night? Yeah not many I bet. He's always been quick to jump to my rescue though and for that I'll always be thankful. Honestly he's the only one that knows how I feel about Ope and to this day he's never said a single word. I sat up and slowly made my way out of bed. Thankfully I have never gotten a hangover, no matter how much I drank, which was weird but hey I'm not complaining. I made my way over to my dresser and got a good look at myself. I had light purplish marks under my eyes, probably from lack of sleep, my face was kind of puffy. I know that was from crying. I put my head down a little too close to my shirt and got a strong wiff of cigarettes. Damn Jax and his filthy habit. I definitely needed a shower. The last thing I needed was my mom thinking I had started smoking. I dug through my drawers and made my way into the bathroom to shower.

After I was done, dressed and had my make up on, I really started to notice myself in the mirror. I was cute, maybe not the most beautiful girl in the work but pretty enough for a second glance. I've been complimented on my looks by quite a few and I'm always hit on at the clubhouse, especially by the prospects. As sad as it is, the one person I want to tell me I look good hardly notices my appearance. I may get an occasional 'you look nice' but more often than not the only thing he says about me is 'you're not wearing that.' I looked myself up and down in the full length mirror, how can he not find me cute? I was an average height for a female. I laughed out loud at myself. Who was I kidding? I stand at 5'5", therefore not the tallest little thing. I felt shorter and shorter every day and it doesn't help that both of my best friends are over six foot. I grabbed my brush and went to work on my hair. It didn't take much. My hair was always so easy to work with after a shower. I stopped brushing and began to tousle my hair so it was in the right spot, having long hair could be a pain in the ass but sometimes there were awesome moments. Like this one for instance, my long blonde hair fell perfectly down my back and not a single strand looked crazy. I leaned in closer to the mirror to look at the purple marks beneath my eyes and determined I needed to add more concealer. My big brown eyes were wide and alert today compared to normally they're all cute and sparkly. My mother always compliments my nose but I think its weird. She says people pay for button noses, but I can guarantee they don't pay for freckles. I bit my lip and decided I had overanalyzed myself enough. I pulled my jean shorts down a little, knowing that when the boys seen them I'd be in trouble. They only came down to the middle of my thighs, the belt I added brought more attention to them. It was bright pink with a single chain hanging off of the right side and one that hung over my left back pocket. I had layered two tank tops, a hot pink one then a black one, trying to diminish my cleavage but it seems to have made it worse. Giving myself one more once over I left the bathroom, I definitely looked cute enough to go to the garage. Gemma had asked me to come by and help her sort pperwork, which I enjoyed doing. I loved helping out at the garage but I knew it wasn't that kind of help she wanted. She wanted me to 'help' her with information about Jax and Tara. I told Jax about this and he thought it was hilarious of course, but of course we all knew Gemma. It would be weird if she didn't stick her nose into his relationships. Not to mention her and Tara damn near buck heads every time they see each other. This was bound to be a helluva conversation.

I walked into my bedroom as quietly as I could. I didn't want to wake my mom up and if I did I'd feel horrible about it. She's only been asleep two hours if she's been asleep at all. She works so hard she deserves the sleep. When she was waitressing she put back so much out of her tips to put herself through school and here we are six years later. I'm so proud of her. I quietly opened my drawers and pulled out a pair of my brightly colored crazy socks. I opened my closest and grabbed my white air miles, when the smell of bacon filled my nose. I took a second to breathe it in, knowing my mom was awake unless someone had broken into my house to cook breakfast. It would be slightly weird but kinda cool or it could be a ghost with a hankering for bacon that woke it up from the dead. I threw on my hot pink socks with a speed I didn't know was possible and put on my nikes. I made my way into the kitchen and my mom set a plate down on the table. Her movements were slow and I could tell she was dead on her feet. I wish she wouldn't worry about making me breakfast when she works nights. I feel horrible when she denies herself sleep to feed me, I'm 18 now I know how to cook, I've told her all of this but it never makes a difference. To be in her 40's and in zombie mode, my mom was still damned good looking. Her sandy blonde hair was shoulder length and still curled from the night before. That fact alone managed to surprise me. Her hair had lasted through an eleven hour work shift, that's some damn good hairspray. Her eyes were a deep hazel with more jade green than brown. Her skin held some crow's feet and laugh lines but not as many as most women her age. Its been just the two of us for as long as I could remember. Mom said one day my donor or just didn't come home, my words not hers. I was only five years old when he split. I never really asked too many questions. I wasn't old enough to remember him or even register that I had a dad. By the time I was starting to get curious about why I didn't have a dad, I had more than enough male figures around. Clay had always taken a special liking to me. J.T liked me but I think I made him nervous since he had sons and had never raised a girl. A man who walks away from his responsibilities is not a man, he's a boy is what Gemma told me and it always stuck close to my heart. If he really loved us, he never would have left.

We moved to Charming when I was about seven. I don't remember much but I do remember all of the funny stares we used to get. Charming is a small town and anyone new is subject to that. I understand that now as an adult. My mom quickly found a job as a waitress at the local diner, which was hard on me at first . Before my donor left she was home with me all the time and then she wasn't. I hado start going to a babysitter and I didn't have any friends other than the babysitter's daughter. It was really lonely at first. It was almost a year after we moved to Charming that I met Jax and Opie. They saved me that day in a way that if I lived to be 110 I'll never be able to repay them for. My mom had to work the afternoon shift so I had to go to the babysitters. My babysitter at the time was our neighbor, I called her Miss Lena . Miss Lena had two kids, Lisa her daughter was my best friend. She was a year older than me at eight but I was turning eight soon. Miss Lena also had a son, Trent he was ten. Lisa was my best friend, we did everything we could together. We played barbies, baby dolls , house. It was awesome. Her brother was a little weird but that's OK. That day, I'll never forget, we were playing house when Trent walked over, said he wanted to play with us. Lisa was ecstatic that he wasn't being mean to us, let him play and even let him be the daddy. To make a long tragic story short, Jax and Opie happened to ride by on their bikes and found him on top of me trying to kiss me while I screamed. He yelled at me and told me this was what mommies and daddies do when they go to bed and I needed to shut off. Jax ripped him off of me as he punched him in the face. Opie helped me up and made sure I was okay and just held me until Jax was done. I'll never forget the cold look on Opie's face as he stared at Trent.

'You come near her again I'll hunt you down and you'll wish you were dead.' Jax hopped on his bike and motioned for me to follow since his bike had pegs and Ope's did not. I couldn't believe I actually got on his bike, going to God knows where. All I knew was I felt safe and that was better than I felt at Lena's. We rode up to one of the boy's houses. I knew now it was Jax's. He hopped off of his bike and headed straight to the porch, where a woman and three men sat. I couldn't hear what he said to her but I knew it was about me, especially when he started imitating himself punching Trent. She looked over him and her eyes landed on me. She motioned for me to come closer but I stayed glued to my spot. I was scared out of my mind.

"Come here sweetheart," I slowly walked towards her. The three men at the table stared at me, making me more uncomfortable. 'What's your name doll?"

"Luanne Faith," I said in a mousy voice. She squatted down and held my hand.

"Well Luanne, I'm Gemma. This is J.T, Clay, and Piney. I'm going to call your mommy and let her know you're here." My moms voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You're awfully quiet this morning," I shrugged my shoulders, thankful to be out of the memory.

" Just reliving the past, how was work?' She shrugged and that seemed to end our conversation.

We finished our breakfast and I left for the garage. I was really excited to get there. Hopefully Ope was there. Being around him always shook the bad feelings away. Even if he didn't say a single word, being around him put me at peace. I just wish he'd hurry up and realize how great I am already. I pulled up at the garage and immediately headed towards the office. As I got close enough to the office I saw Clay in there talking to Gemma. She armed upset so I turned and walked towards the garage where I seen a few prospects, Tig, and Kyle Hobart standing around. One of the prospects seen me coming and hollered for me as the rest of the men seemed to disappear.

"Hey Faith can you come here a second?" Obviously I was headed in that direction. I think this one was called John or something. He had some filthy nickname that had to do with his dick. As I got closer, I noticed he was completely covered in oil. Thankfully for him, his face was not. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I had to redo the entire brake system, so I need a favor. This lady is a stickler about not getting any brake fluid on her car. Can you get the keys they fell into the hood, well more like Seth tossed them into the hood because he's asshole." I nodded, not seeing any harm in that. I bent over into the hood and started looking around. I spotted them so I stretched my arm down, attempting to reach them. I could reach them with the tip of my fingers. Just as I about had them when I slipped. I quickly caught my footing and stretched up on my tippy toes. I started bouncing around trying to get more leverage when I snagged them. I removed myself from the car when I heard Clay's voice.

"She's like my fucking daughter you perverts! If I ever see you looking at her like that I'll cut your dicks off!" As I turned around I noticed the same crowd of men that were there before I walked up. Kyle looked at me licking his lips and I rolled my eyes. I heard the roar of motorcycle and I felt my heart start to race. Jax and Ope pulled into the parking lot. Opie's eyes went straight to my shorts and I started to feel tingly all over. His eyes lingered longer than they would normally or maybe he just didn't see me watching . I ran and gave him a hug, making sure to press up against him.

"You owe me a ride killer." He chuckled.

"Maybe soon but not in shorts like that." I pretended to pout.

"Why not? They're so cute." I heard jax chuckle as he butted into the conversation.

"But they're so cute Hope. Don't you see I've got half of the garage's tongue hanging out?" I turned sweetly towards Jax.

"But I don't have the two best looking guys in the entire lot's tongue hanging out so I must not be that cute." Jax smirked at me and Opie gave me a small laugh.

"I know she ain't talking about us. Jax can you believe her mom let her out of the house like that?" I rolled my eyes as Jax shook his head.

"Nopppee, cause she wouldn't have left my house like that." Jax walked towards the office leaving just Ope and me. He got off of his bike and gave me a hug.

"We need to talk later its very important." I nodded as my heart did flips. Maybe this was it.

A/n this chapter is like super long lol but I had to make myself stop thanks to HermoineandMarcus, jerbear7579, Tracey lewis, and 5 I wasn't sure how well this story was going to go but your reviews made me smile and pushed me to update faster. For all my Just a former old lady fans the update is half way done it should be up tomorrow. Tomorrows Teller Tuesday lady its cause to celebrate :)


	3. and I dont feel right when uve gone away

As my heart when into overdrive, I prayed it wouldn't be too long before we had our talk. He walked away from me and went straight to the garage, throwing on his Teller-Morrow work shirt on the walk over. Maybe he had finally realized what a great girl I was, maybe he finally realized we'd be perfect together. I jumped up and down and squaled with joy. This was going to be the happiest day of my life. I danced my way to the office, earning a smirk from Jax. I stuck my tongue out at him and continued to walk and dance at the same time, because yeah I'm talented like that. I walked into the office causing Gemma to look up at me. She looked so troubled. Her eyes said more than her mouth ever will, and at this moment that was okay with me. I was way too happy to be brought down. That made me feel like a horrible person, so I decided to tone down the smile and happiness probably rolling off of me.

I walked over and grabbed a stack of paperwork off of her desk and started sorting them the way she showed me how too. I wonder if he told Jax what he had to tell me. Jax knew how big this was to me, he'd definitly tell me. I decided to get to work and attempt to keep my mind off of Ope's big news. After doing my files for fifteen minutes, Gemma's silence really started to get to me. Not once had she asked for gossip on Jax and Tara or even said anything for that matter. I decided to steal a glance at her and noticed that she hadn't moved from the position she was in since I have been here. She was staring off into the garage, obviously lost in her thoughts. I followed the direction of her eyes and not surprisingly found them watching her son. It really surprised me that she let me see her this distracted. Gemma was always on her a-game no matter what. I've seen this woman go through some serious shit and still manage to smile or at least keep up the appearance that nothing was wrong. Something seriously must be going on with Jax, but if it was he would have told me. Maybe its club businesses? I decided I could no longer keep up this silence so I spoke up.

"Gem, what's wrong? You're not your normal self." She quickly snapped out of her trance like state. She studied me for a moment, my guess was to see either what I knew or what I thought I knew.

"Oh nothing baby, weird morning. I'm just a little distracted. Do you have the paperwork for the silver beamer? He came in and paid off his balance today." Apparantly she decided I didn't know anything so I shrugged it off as well. I went through the files until I found the one she was looking for and handed it over. Her eyes drifted back to Jax and quickly looked back down on her paperwork when she realized I noticed her staring.

"Its obvious what's got you distracted. What's going on with Jax? Is it something I should know about?" She sighed and placed her hand on her forehead.

"I honestly don't know. He's distracted when he needs to be focused and I'm scared its going to get him killed. He's got his head so far in that girl's pussy he's losing sight of what's important. She's no good for him, he's my son I know what he needs, and its to stay as far away from her as possible." I could only imagine how she was feeling. In her mind she was losing her son, hell she could actually lose him if he wasn't careful. The last thing he needs is to go into some shit with his head full of bullshit. It was then I realized I could possibly lose him too. I couldn't imagine my life without his constant pestering or that cocky smirk. He could die, what was I going to do? I was at a loss at what to do. My happy day went right out of the window. How could I concentrate on Opie's news when I could possibly lose my other best friend because he was being careless. I needed to have a talk with him.

"I can talk to him Gem, and see where his heads at. I'll let you know." As bad as I felt for Gemma, I knew I could never actually betray my best friend like that. Jax has been there for me through way too much shit for me to rat him out period, especially not to his own mother. I did need to talk to him and make sure he was seperating his two lives, he really seemed to care about her but I can't have her get him killed. Gemma looked at me as a smile warmed her face and she pointed her finger at me.

"No you wouldn't, you little shit." I just laughed, though I wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that she knew me so well. She looked at me and her features softened. I knew she was about to start in on my love life. I quickly changed the subject before she had a chance.

"Do you have the paperwork for the '93 red firebird? By my calculations, he still owes $45 on the tune up and brake adjustment. Though it is hard to read Clay's writing." She looked through her files and found it, I placed the receipts I found in them and wrote in a few notes, then I filed it under the past due.

"You know I don't think I'd worry about him so much if he was with you. You're a great girl, you keep him on track and you accept the club," she said leaning back in her chair and motioning around her. I should have figured this was coming, "and not to mention, you take care of him the way I do. You pick up after him even though you're not expected to. Though I seriously don't recommended anyone going in his dorm room, it reaks of pussy and weed in there." I just laughed it off. I picked up after a lot of the guys, maybe not their rooms like I did Jax and Ope but still. I stared down at my receipts and tried to think of what to say next. Jax was my best friend, but I don't see him like that. I did agree with Gemma on one thing, Tara had changed him and maybe not for the better. He was going to do what he wanted though I could tell him I don't like it but would that change anything? I looked up and saw Gemma staring at me , waiting for a reply. I inwardly groaned. One of Gemma's worst qualities, in my book anyway, was her ability to get you to give her the information she wanted without you realizing you had done it until it was too late. So I had to be very careful about my little secret.

"Thanks Gemma, it means more to me than I could ever explain that you like me so much. We both know you don't think anyone is good enough for your son so its an honor that you think I am, though I don't think it will ever happen between us. I appreciate you saying so." I felt panic rush on me, did I say too much,? Did I not say enough? She gave me a look, and for a moment it was almost like she could read my mind. The panic kicked into overdrive. I quickly looked away, afraid it was written all over my face.

"Why wouldn't I like you? You've always been so good to both Jax and Opie. They both think the world of you, and I know you feel the same way. Even if you do care for one more than the other." I knew in that moment she had me, hook, line, and sinker. I prayed I wasn't blushing but I knew I was judging by how my skin suddenly felt really hot. How did she know? Which one did she think it was? Oh boy, my mind raced with a million questions.

"Well we've all been best friends for years, what do you expect? There isn't anything in this worked I wouldn't do for those two. I love them both to death." I kept my eyes on my files so she couldn't read my facial expression.

"Yeah I know you do sweetheart, I've never doubted that. But you do love one more than the other..." she was cut off as Clay walked in. He gave me a look and I gladly took my cue to leave. I practically ran out of the office. I let out a big breath of air I hadn't realized I had been holding in until now. I always knew Gemma was intelligent, you don't get to where she's at by being dumb, but today surprised even me. I knew I had to start being more careful, or maybe I didn't have to be. Maybe his news would be him coming to his senses. I sighed looking back at the office, I knew one thing for sure, Gemma was not finished with our conversation.

I did my best to avoid Gemma for the rest of the day. Yeah I knew I would catch hell about it but right now this was the better option of the two. I also knew I couldn't avoid her forever but hey hiding from her for one afternoon wasn't so bad. Opie still hasn't called or texted me at all, which was really starting to upset me. He tells me he has to talk to me, its important and yet pretty much acts like i have the plague. The nerve of that man, leaving me in suspense all day. I grabbed my phone off of the end table and dialed his prepay number before I changed my mind. He answered after four rings and I heard crying in the background.

"Hey Faith, its not really a good time right now."as he spoke the crying stopped. Like someone didn't realize he was on the phone. That was just a bit strange.

"Who was crying?" Normally I try not to ask Opie too many questions, but then again I normally don't have too. He usually tells me.

"Its Donna, I got to go," and the line went dead. I stared at my phone in disbelief. I wasn't sure if I was more upset over him hanging up on me or not knowing if he had broken things off with Donna. Then again, what else would explain the crying? Or maybe there was something I was missing. I sighed and laid back down on the couch. I was contemplating getting something to eat when I had a text come through. I opened my phone, silently praying it was Ope, apologizing for hanging up on me. He better apologize to me, I was important too. I understand Donna comes first but at the same time...yeah that sounds selfish. I had a smug smile on my face until I saw it was Jax. Well at least one of my best friends cares enough to text me.

-party at clubhouse tonight u down? - Leave it to Jax to keep me infomed about a party, then again we are drinking buddies. I don't like to drink alone so I make him or Ope drink with me. I don't know what they get out of it but I'm not complaining. I've been told I'm a fun drunk, but I don't know how much of a compliment that is since it came from Tig. I shuddered. Onto happier thoughts, going out tonight just might give me the distraction I needed and on the bright side it might cheer me up. Also I might run into Opie so its a win-win and I could just get the news I have been waiting for so yay!

-Always u pickin me up- Yes I could use mom's car but what's the fun in that when I could be on the back of a motorcycle. It always made me feel like I'm flying, there's no high like it in the world. I've been hooked since my first time on a motorcycle and the feeling hasn't changed.

-U could always drive ya kno-

-C u at 7 30 ;) - I could see him smirking at me through the phone.

Clubhouse parties were always the best. The bartender always gave me alcohol even though I'm only 18. Someone usually gets into a fight , regardless of the reason free entertainment was nice. I checked my clock and it read five o clock on the dot. Its moments like these that I really wish I had female friends. I had to determine if this goes with that and if it really looked cute or not all on my own. I sighed and pushed myself off of the couch and made my way to my room. I looked from my closet to my dresser. Let the games begin.

By 7:25 I was showered and dressed. I was in the process of doing my make up when I heard Jax's motorcycle. I smiled while deliberately taking my time with my make up. Let him wait, I need to look perfect, maybe not perfect but hot. It took me all of ten minutes to do my make up. For once, I actually managed to perfect the smokey eye look. Yay me! I gave myself one last once over before I left the bathroom. I had decided on a black v-neck shirt and a jean skirt that came down mid thigh. I thew on a pair of black strappy sandals . For the first time in my life I could say I looked hot. I quickly put on some lip gloss and out the door I went.  
>I walked into the living room as Jax was talking to my mom. It was obvious the moment he noticed me. He was staring so hard in my direction that my mom stopped her conversation with him to see what he was staring at. Meanwhile, my eyes were on my feet, pretending to admire my toe nail polish, in reality I couldn't believe he was staring at me like that. Maybe Ope would feel the same way, who knows?<p>

Our ride to the clubhouse was in silence, well riding on a motorcycle didn't exactly give much room for conversation but I was thankful for the silence. My stomach was doing flips, I really hoped Opie was there when I got there so I can just confront him and get him to tell me what I wanted to know. It was beyond time for a put up or shut up conversation. I was nervous about how I looked, what if he hated it? What if I looked like one of the club hang arounds or something. Maybe this outfit was a bad idea. We pulled into the parking lot and I eased myself off of his bike. I seen Ope's truck in the parking lot and I started to get nauseous. This was it. It was time to talk to him. Jax walked up and placed his hand on my lower back and I looked at him with confusion.

"Um what are you doing?" He leaned his mouth down near my ear.

"Just escorting you in because when you walk through the door every man in there is going to be all over you." A warm rushing feeling all through my body. I think in his own way he was complimenting me but at the same time I felt like a female dog in heat and I was surrounded by male dogs. This was my best friend he wasn't supposed to be checking me out. Yeah this outfit was a really bad idea.

We walked into the clubhouse and all eyes were on us. Jax pulled me into his body and we walked through the clubhouse. We stopped at the bar and I seen Tig heading over towards us. I quickly looked away pretending not to notice but what I did notice was Gemma staring at us with raised eyebrows. Jax tapped my arm, alerting me that he had spotted Opie. We made our way over to him and when he seen me his eyes about jumped out of his head. I had a little smugness in my smile I knew this. Maybe this outfit wasn't so bad.

"We need to talk now." I nodded and waited for him to say what he had to say. His eyes grazed over my outfit and I felt that familiar heat rush back through my body. This was it, it was now or never.

"Luanne, I'm..." Just as he went to say something Donna hopped up on the table.

"ATTENTION! everybody! Opie and I have some big news! We're pregnant!"

a/n: I had intentions on making this chapter longer but I wasn't quite sure on how to end it so I figured here would be a good place. let me know what you guys think im having a bit of a down day today so reviews make me smile.


	4. dont waste your time on me your already

I felt as if someone had knocked the wind right out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe. I heard voices surrounding me but none of them sounded normal. Opie's face became clear and I realized I needed to snap out of it before I lost it. He was having a child, a real baby. Regardless on if him and Donna made it or not she would now forever be in his life. I felt my stomach start to heave but I couldn't lose it here, not in front of everyone. The tears in my eyes threatened to spill over but I shook them away as two big arms held me into place. I stared up at that gorgeous face that I have loved since I was a teenager and I felt gut wrenching pain throughout my whole body. I was losing him, maybe not in a forever kind of term. I still had an opportunity to make him mine, but now he will never be just mine. I was aware of how selfish that sounded but I couldn't help it. My fantasy image of us was shattered and lying around me. He slightly shook me and it snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Luanne, are you okay?" I took in my surroundings. Opie was merely inches from my face and Jax was hovering behind him. Gemma was on the opposite side of Jax and all of them were focused on one thing: me. I quickly smiled and even managed to giggle a little bit.

"Oh yeah I'm great, sorry I really spaced out for a minute. It just hit me that my best friend is going to be a dad," I actually managed to squeeze out that last part without choking on my own tears. Opie smiled and shook his head while looking down.

"I know I can't believe it. Its part of what I want to talk to you about. Its crazy isn't it? Um Gem can you give the three of us a few minutes?" She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a sad look. Yeah if I wasn't sure before, I was now. Gemma knew exactly how I felt about Opie.

"Sure baby," she said as she made her way over to Clay. Both of them seemed to lean into each other and whisper towards each other. Ope cleared his throat, bringing me back from my distraction.

"Well um, I'm not quite sure how to say this but uh, I've uh asked Donna to marry me. I want you guys to be apart of the wedding it would mean a lot to me." I thought the baby was bad enough news my world seemed to crumble apart around me at that moment. Nothing else seemed to matter. Jax seemed to notice this and quickly gave Ope a hug to disguise the heartbreak my face held.

"Ya know Faith, you would look super sexy in a tux," he said lightly elbowing me. I chuckled but my heart wasn't into it. I was glad that Jax was so in tuned with my emotions because he spoke so I didn't have too. "Congrats Ope, I guess you know what that means Faye, to the bar we go!"

I sat at the bar, tossing back a total of three jager bombs before I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Instead of actually going there, I made my way to Jax's dorm room. I wanted to go to Opie's but I was worried I would run into Donna or something so my choice was already made. The absolute last thing I wanted was to see Donna right now. I walked over to Jax's bed and plopped down. My world was spinning and sadly it wasn't from the jager. Maybe I should have drank more, I shrugged my shoulders. For once, I highly doubted that alcohol was going to help my current mood. My best friend, my secret love of my life, was getting married and having a child. What was I going to do? I never have felt heartbreak like this before. I just thought maybe one day he would open up his eyes and see how freaking amazing I was and we would live happily ever after. Why couldn't things be like that? Maybe I should have opened my mouth, things would have been different. He would have been in love with me and not her and this would be my life. I was going to march in there right now and tell him. What he did with it was his business. I stood up just as Jax's door opened. He stumbled in, I'm not sure if it was from being drunk or just because the door sticks. He looked up at me and his smile could have been plastered on his face it was so big. He made his way over to the bed and plopped down belly first next to me.

"Well you look like a big ray of freakin' sunshine." I rolled my eyes at his obvious sense of sarcasm. Of course I was a big ray of sunshine. I had really just lost the love of my life.

"I couldn't be better Mister Teller," I said with a mock southern accent. He chuckled and sat up and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe he's not the guy for you Faye." My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to puke all over him. How could he say that to me knowing just how much I love Ope. Jax was my best friend and I felt like he was betraying me.

"How can you even say that? It was you that told me that the heart wants what it wants." He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag.

"Yeah I did, but you had to know this would happen eventually Faye." The tears that threatened to spill earlier now ran freely down my cheeks. In some sick twisted way I knew he was right, and that hurt just as much as the revelation tonight.

"You're right I did, but that doesn't make it hurt any less Jax." He nodded, blowing out a mouthful of smoke. Yeah because his smoking totally added to my feeling awesome let me tell you I thought while I rolled my eyes.

"I know it hurts, but maybe its for the best." I felt the sadness overwhelm me as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"It shouldn't be like this Jax," I said as I wiped my face on his shoulder. I know, the most attractive thing ever right? He didn't seem to mind. After I was done with the sob fest he pulled me in closer.

"I hope you find who you're looking for Luanne, you deserve it. You're beautiful, smart and you have one of the best personalities I have ever been around. If Opie doesn't see all of those things he is a fool." That had to be one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me only something felt very weird about it. I couldn't quite explain it but it was definitely something. I looked up to face him and I was met with his lips on mine. His kiss was warm and soft yet fast and hard all at the same time. I was so confused.

**a/n: sorry for the long wait. i wasnt quite sure how i wanted to end this chapter and i felt this was a good enough end lol let me know what you think **


	5. It must have been the roses and the wine

I sat there in shock as his lips were still pressed against mine. My best friend, well my actual best friend not the one I was in love with, had kissed me. He pulled away from me and stared at me, gauging my reaction and I just sat there. I placed my fingertips to my lips and just stared. I know, any woman in this clubhouse who was kissed by Jackson Teller would have jumped his bones but not me. This man was my best friend, the guy I called whenever Opie did something stupid. The man I called when I was pmsing and needed a chocolate fix like right then, and to his credit he never complained. This was the man I called whenever I wanted to talk- about anything in the world mind you, and he tried to kiss me. Actually tried to kiss me too, not like the kind of kiss you give relatives, I had felt him try to make it more than just you know a friendly peck. I'm rambling but I feel like my brain is a livewire. I just stared at him and I couldn't quite tell if I had hurt his feelings or not. Maybe he only kissed me because of the alcohol. You know people get drunk and get affectionate right? That happens right? That had to be all it was. He didn't actually want to kiss me, yeah I told myself. I just happened to be around and he was getting all tingly or whatever when he started talking about how great of a person I was.I thought back to what he said before he kissed me, Oh my god, what if it wasn't just the drunkness. What if he really wanted to kiss me? I scoffed which turned into a laugh, because out of all of the women in the clubhouse tonight he chose to kiss me, the one he looks at like a sister. Because that was so likely to be the truth. There's now way he had intentionally wanted to kiss me. He was my best friend he was supposed to say all of those nice things about me. It's in the job decscription. I did a quick scan of memories and none came to mind where he had been overly affectionate or even said anything that would make me think he was interested, just the normal best friend kind of things. Jax has always been so supportive of me, always there for me but never once had he ever insinuated that he was interested in me. You would think he would have said something if that were the case, I mean we've been friends since we were kids. In my silence, he leaned back on his bed. I stared at him as he stared at his ceiling.I wasn't quite sure what to say. I didn't know how to feel about it, it kind of crossed every line we had ever set as friends. Then again I had crossed all of those lines myself by falling in love with Opie but I didn't think that was the case here. But what would I do if it was? Could I really handle that? It had to be a misunderstanding, the really messed up part is I really wouldn't know anything until tomorrow and that's if I decided to bring it up. I sighed yeah I probably was never going to know.

I glanced over my shoulder at him and I couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. I'm pretty sure I had hurt his feelings, if the situation was serious and not a misunderstanding. He had been eerily silent since he kissed me. I shrugged to myself. That could be a good thing it gave me a chance to really sneak a peek at him. I took advantage of the silence and really studied his features. His long blonde hair was smushed in between himself and the bed and strands of it were sticking up everywhere. His eyes were dropping and intensively focused on the ceiling. His lips were really defined and surprisingly soft, okay that was weird why was I paying attention to his lips like that? The light hightlighted the gold stubble that ran across his chin. I could admit it, he was really good looking but looking at him didn't send sparks shooting through me or make me crave to strip him of his clothes. When I looked at Opie, I felt so I don't know warm, tingly and just happy. I didn't feel that way with Jax, but maybe I could feel that way again. Jax was right. I needed to start trying to look at other people because I didn't see Opie making some kind of big revalation that it had been me this whole time. I thought back to my conversation and kiss with Jax, and realized that even if there was more there, I didn't want to pursue it right now. I had just been down that road and got my heart smashed so I needed time.

As I sat collecting my thoughts, I heard a slight snore. I looked over next to me and Jax had indeed fallen asleep. I sighed and stood up. I couldn't let him sleep like that. His feet were dangling in the floor and his upper half was twisted pretty awkwardly. I knew he would be in pain in the morning so I slowly removed his shoes and laid his feet softly on the floor. I unzipped his hoodie and eased it off of him along with his kutte, as I did so his t-shirt slid up and I turned fifty shades of cherry. He had a slight happy trail leading from his belly button..uhhhm into his pants. I didn't realize how long I had been standing there staring because the bedroom door opening kicked me out of my trance like state I was in. I cleared my throat and I started to kind of drag him further up the bed and as I was attempting I felt a bit of weight lift and there stood Ope. He ]helped me scoot Jax up and then he just stared at me. I felt myself getting warm all over. His gaze was making me nervous. I wondered if he had noticed me scoping out Jax's stomach and I rolled my eyes. What did it matter it wasn't like he wanted me. I was allowed to look. I shook my head. Why was I trying to justify staring at my other best friend? It was still wrong. I stared around Jax's room that was covered in half naked women. I guess it would be much less awkward to stare at Opie. I looked over at him. Yeah still awkward so I decided it would be better to stare at Jax's sleeping form.

"I see Jax passed our already, that's unlike him. He must have pregamed." I nodded, unsure of what to say.

"I'm not sure, he didn't seem drunk when he picked me up." Opie chuckled and looked me up and down.

"Well seeing you like that must have caused him to do himself in." I took a quick look up and down and smacked myself in the forehead. I had forgotten I had sexied myself up in order to show Opie what he was missing. Maybe that's why he kissed me. It would make sense. I looked so different.

"Why would the way I look affect Jax." Opie gave me a ,'you've got to be kidding me' look and my heart dropped to my stomach. An endless black hole and filled the place that once was my stomach. Did he really have feelings for me? Was I really that blinded by my love for Opie?

"You know how he gets when men oogle you. You pretty much gave them a reason too." He said as he motioned towards my outfit. The black pit feeling didn't go away like I thought it would. Something bad was going to come out of my mouth.

"Did you notice it Harry?" I asked, for the first time using his actual name in a very long time. He looked lost, almost the way I felt when Jax kissed me. The black hole in my stomach intensified. He didn't feel like that about me. Yes I had thought it, yes I had felt it was true. But it was completely different being smacked in the face with it.

"Of course I noticed Lu, but you're like my sister. You're damn good looking and any man who doesn't think so is a fucking liar. I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to breathe when we were younger but then I met Donna..." and he trailed off and my heart broke even more. I had a chance and I blew it without even knowing I blew it. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I looked back down at Jax. His features were relaxed and it really took me back to the day he beat the shit out of Trent. In front of me laid that same kid and the tears spilled out from my eyes. I cried over Opie, I cried over Jax and in general I just cried. I noticed Ope didn't rush to scoop me up in his arms or anything he just let me cry it out. I was really starting to see the difference in his and Jax's friendship with me and I wasn't sure I was liking it. When I was done crying I finally heard his voice.

"Are you okay kid?" All the crying I had done should have worn me out but at that moment being called a kid really pissed me off.

"First off you need to quit calling me kid! I am not a damned kid!" I lifted my hand indicating my boobs, "Do these look kid like to you? No I didn't think so!" I said as I started to pace in a circle. I felt like I was on the verge of snapping his head off, not only for always calling me kid but for everything. Images of him and Donna flashed through my mind and I started to see red all over. Why was he so damn dumb? We would be perfect together! Why couldn't he see that? Oh yeah because he was so wrapped up in her! I wished he had never met her. Hell I wish he had spoken up back in the day! What the fuck was wrong with him? I pushed myself passed him and slammed the door. Forget him, forget his feelings I was so done!

**a/n: I know it seems short but I did add a lot of information i hope that counts. Thank you to traceyklewis for always reviewing and loving it, Tisha24 you seem relatively new to the story but thank you so much for reviewing every chapter! you rock and thanks for the upbeat reviews, rosered88, and emmettluver2010 u have disappeared on me as of late but i still love your reviews lol **


	6. but Im not gonna let udown darlin wait n

I kept walking until I was out of the clubhouse and into the parking lot. I knew I was sort of in the wrong for snapping at Opie, but from Opie's major announcement, or shall I say Donna's to Ope's former love confession I was emotionally drained. Mainly drained from all of the drama that unfolded in an hour tops. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about everything that had happened tonight. I'm his best friend, I'm supposed to be supportive but at the same time I was devastated. I still couldn't believe she was pregnant. How did that happen? I rolled my eyes at myself. Obviously I know how that happened but I assumed he was being careful, then again he was a red blooded male all he was probably worried about was trying to get a nut. I guess like father like son. I couldn't believe that thought had even crossed my mind. Opie was so far from Piney in a lot of ways, granted they still were alike but he was definitely not his dad. There I go again defending him even in my own thoughts. I wasn't sure how easy it was going to be to completely let him go. There will never be another Opie, ever! I know that sounds dramatic but your first love dies hard, even if its unreturned. He was a really good guy and the sad thing is he doesn't even know it. He thinks he is just like his dad, but he's not. I sighed as I looked back towards the clubhouse and for the first time in my life I wished I had a cigarette. Maybe it would calm my nerves down, or would that be weed? I shook my head. Yeah I'm really glad I didn't smoke on anything right now, it would just be a temporary fix for what was wrong I told myself but to be honest, I really wasn't sure. Maybe it would help. You know what I really needed, to talk to Jax. He would tell me what to do and make everything okay. I smacked myself in the forehead. The Jax situation was complicated as well right now. He picked a hell of a night to go crazy on me. Maybe things would be back to normal tomorrow I thought, but as selfish as it was to say I wanted it all to be resolved tonight. All of my problems fixed in one night, I laughed to myself, that would be a dream. I heard a loud bout of laughter so I looked over my shoulder at the clubhouse once again, every answer to all of my questions lied inside that building and right now it was the last place I wanted to be.

My thoughts went back to the mess that I called my Harry Winston love story. He was getting married and having a child. So I guess I needed to close the book on said love story because it was obviously not going to happen. I guess its considered a lighter note, he did admit to having feelings for me. I sighed, only to have my little bit of hope crushed by the fact that he no longer had them. Why hadn't he said something? It could have been me he was marrying or having his child. Or you could have lost him forever because it didn't work out. I mentally flipped off that little annoying voice in my head. Like I didn't already know that. I thought back to me snapping at him, I still don't understand why he even started calling me kid in the first place. Seriously though, I was really tired of him calling me kid, I was not a kid anymore. I sat down at one of the picnic tables and stared off towards the Teller-Morrow sign. Why couldn't life be easier? I just wanted a little bit of happiness and to have my best friends is that so much to ask for? I stared off into the darkness of the parking lot for a few minutes. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't hear anyone walking up. It wasn't until I felt weight on the bench next to me that I looked up to see who had occupied my picnic bench when there were tons of others out here. Much to my annoyance, it was Kyle. Looks like my already bad night just took a major turn for the worst.

"You know its not good for a pretty girl like yourself to be outside alone." I rolled my eyes. The last man in the world I would want protecting me from something bad would be Kyle. He would get me killed just so he could see me naked. He all around disgusts me. It took everything in me to leave that disgust out of my voice.

"Yeah but I just needed a minute to myself, Opie should be out anytime. He said he would follow me out." Kyle's laugh sounded like he was trying to force it to be sexy and it just didn't work. Not only did it sound hideous, he started coughing afterwards so yeah apparently his plan failed. He scooted closer to me and I could feel his breath on my ear. I was suddenly nervous of my surroundings. I was outside, alone mind you, with Kyle Hobart and both of my big bad best friends were unavailable to me. I knew if it came down to it, I would beat the shit out of him but sometimes its nice to have a male around when everything hits the fan. My brain quickly replayed Opie's last line to me. _"You know how he gets when men oogle you. You pretty much gave them a reason too." _Oh how nice it would be to have Jax around. He would pound Kyle's face in for fun.

"You're lying," yeah now I was twice as nervous. How did he know that? No one had known Opie and I had gotten into it but well me and Opie. Also no one knows about my secret love for Opie but Jax and I'm pretty sure Gemma. I know Ope didn't hang around to watch Jax sleep so he had to be roaming the clubhouse right?

"I have no reason to lie to you Kyle." He moved in so his lips were inches from my ear. If I moved even slightly he would be defiling my ear with his nasty nasty mouth.

"Because I watched Opie walk into his dorm with Donna, I wonder what they could be doing." Well, shit. Way to go Ope for failing me when you didn't even know you were doing so which is like all of the time. I thought about Jax and I shook my head. I'm pretty sure every one knows about Jax sleeping so there goes that excuse. I guess it was all up to me.

"Well when a pregnant girl wants, she wants I guess." I said with a laugh and I thought about what I was implying and my chest hurt. That's the lovely thing about being secretly in love, you have to say things like they're normal even when it kills you. I stood up and stretched. He grabbed my arm and I attempted to yank it back.

"Where do you think you're going?" I rolled my eyes and finally snatched my arm out of his grasp.

"I'm going inside, where my friends are." Even if I was mad at one and the other kisses me and passes out. I stepped over the table bench and he grabbed me again.

"Maybe I want you out here with me, you know to get to know you." I rolled my eyes. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was get to know Kyle. He acted like women should fall at his feet and ew not this girl.

"Well we can do that another time, right now I'm tired and want to go lay down." I almost added with Jax, because that would make the situation so much better but we have cuddled before and it wasn't awkward. He laughed and it almost sounded like a cartoon. Only it wasn't so much muwahahaha it was like hehehe only evil. Did that sound right? I'm not making much sense now.

"So that's why you're not interested in any of us, because you're fucking Teller. That lucky bastard he always gets the good ones first. Well when you're tired of being used hit me up and even if you are used goods I will still treat you right." I don't know what came over me but in an instant my fist connected with his nose. I hit him hard enough that he reached up and grabbed his nose.

"Don't you ever talk about him like that. And just for the record I'm not fucking Jax but if I was, I definitely wouldn't downgrade myself to sleeping with the likes of you. He's a good man which is something you are not." I practically spit my words at him I was so mad and I walked towards the clubhouse, only to be surprised to see Gemma standing by the door. She pulled me into a hug and I felt myself blush. I guess I should be proud Gemma seen me in uber bitch mode but I was more embarrassed that she seen me go into it over her son.

"I was worried for a minute but you proved me wrong. I'm proud of you baby now let's get inside." She opened the door for me and turned in Kyle's direction.

"And Kyle, if I catch you talking to her again and she doesn't approve of it, you won't have to worry about the guys getting to you. I'll handle you myself."

We walked into the clubhouse and she ushered me towards the bar. I shook my head. Yeah I don't think she would care I was underage drinking but Gemma was a stickler on a few things and I wasn't sure if this was one of them. So she ordered herself a shot and a jagerbomb magically appeared in front of me. I looked around pretending to not notice it, causing Gemma to laugh.

"Do you honestly think I don't know that you drink?" I looked at her sheepishly and then looked at the floor. "Drink up kid. You deserve it." I slammed my drink back causing Gemma to laugh.

"Thanks Gemma, I wasn't sure what to say when you got me a drink. I don't want my mom knowing I do because she will flip." She pulled me in close.

"That's why you should be glad I'm not your mom."

I actually had a good drinking conversation with conversation with Gemma. That woman is tough as nails but she's good to talk too. I think she was feeling me out more than drinking though because I don't remember seeing her drink more than the one shot, compared to me three jager bombs. Despite the drinking, I still tried to watch what I said. It was a struggle though, not to spill the beans about the entire night, including her son kissing me so I took that as a sign it was time for bed. I made my way to Jax's dorm room and figured I would crash there for the night. Its not like we hadn't slept next to each other before. I went through his drawers and found one of his samcro t-shirts and a pair of his pajama pants. I went into the bathroom and changed quickly then I crawled in bed next to him and tried not to think about all of the things that Opie was probably doing with Donna right now. As soon as he felt me get into bed he wrapped me up in his arms, which surprised me at first but it was welcomed.

"Good night Faith," he said with his sleep filled voice.

"Good night Jax."

**a/n: so this chapter wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it, very annoying sometimes let me tell you. But here's the new one I hope every one enjoys it. Thank you guys for the reviews as always, so what our oppinion on the Opie situation? How do we feel about Faith and Jax or do you think Opie will eventually see the errors of his ways? Let me know what you think I love hearing from you guys. Also shout outs to :Emmettluver2010: I'm glad you are back lol, Guest: I know Ope is being a bit of a jerk right now but maybe it will get better. Traceyklewis: well i can tell which way you're pulling for in my previously asked question. some big things will happen in Faith's world...maybe some of those center around Jax and as usual some center around Opie, its going to get pretty good I think but I'm the writer so of course I think so. Wordweaversdream: Thanks for being a new reader and letting me know what you think. I'm glad you enjoy the story and hopefully there's a lot more to come keep reading. Until the next chapter guys **


	7. you could wake me up in the dead of nigh

I surprisingly woke up really rested, like I haven't slept that good in I don't know how long. I probably could have went right back to sleep if I didn't have a light shining in my eyes. I opened one eye to test my surroundings out. Apparently the apocalypse had not happened while I was asleep, the room still looked the same. I don't know why it even occurred to me that some mass explosion happened while I was asleep. I know I tend to sleep hard but damn. I could feel something heavy on me so I quickly looked over and I was still wrapped up in Jax's arms. Another big surprise for me because normally I was all over the bed. I guess its because I was used to sleeping by myself or maybe its because I was comfortable. I mean unusually comfortable, it felt as if all of the drama from the night before vanished right along with my tiredness. My head was still rested up against Jax's chest and I noticed his breathing became more normal and his heartbeat sped up so I started to assume he was awake. I opened up the other eye and stared at him for a minute. Judging by the position we were in I don't think we had moved at all. I mean granted I know I fell asleep cuddled up to him but I figured I would have flipped over or even moved to my back but no, I was still laying on my right side staring at him. I noticed the left side of his mouth twitch and it eventually curved up to be a smirk. I sat there staring until he finally decided to give me the pleasure of letting me know he was awake. He look down on me and smiled.

"Good morning Jax," he leaned down and kissed my forehead, then pulled me closer. He rested his chin on top of my head and closed his eyes.

"Good morning Faye, I'm sorry I passed out on you." I shook my head and continued to stare at him. His features were still that of the relaxed little boy I saw last night but this morning they screamed that he was a man now. I was surprised at just how normal this felt, like I had stated before its not like we hadn't cuddled before but this felt different. It felt comfortable and so normal. Well of course it was normal, we were friends right? Really good friends, and it was him who kissed me. I didn't violate our friendship contract so this was okay. I was starting to confuse myself to just what I was doing. Last night I had clearly stated I didn't have feelings for him but here I am at complete peace cuddling with him like there was nothing in the world I would rather be doing.

"That's okay you seemed like you were exhausted and besides Opie said it was my fault anyway." He positioned himself so he could look at me. His eyes studying me for a minute before he finally said anything.

"I really was exhausted. I'm not saying I didn't drink a lot, because I did but I can't remember the last time I passed out. And why would me drinking too much be your fault." I looked down at my hands that were currently resting between us. I picked at the beds of my fingernails for a few minutes, trying to determine how to answer his question. I wonder if my hot new look was the reason he drank himself into oblivion. It couldn't be right. I shouldn't have said anything. The last thing I wanted was Jax and Opie fighting because of me. Bro's before ho's right? But did that saying still apply when you were one of the 'bro's' too?

"Stress tires a person out, and your best friend is not only getting married but he's having a baby. Things are going to change big time in both of your lives and that's okay. You will both make it." I sighed and debated on whether or not to tell him what Ope said and then decided fuck it. "It was because of the way I was dressed. You didn't want to deal with men oogling me, I think that's what he said." He started to play with my hair and wrap the few chunks that fell into my face around his index finger. He looked so concentrated I almost hated to move. Wait why was I mystified over my best friend playing with my hair? I shook my hair, lightly pulling my hair slightly out of his fingers. He let go quickly and pulled my face up to look at him. He stared at me and I felt the tingles all over my body. Woah where did those come from? It had to be my nerves or maybe it was just the heat of the moment. I had never gotten a feeling like that from Jax before.

"How are you doing with the shitstorm that hit last night? I know you love him but did you take what I said into consideration?" My mouth instantly went dry. He remembered talking to me, so then he must remember kissing me. Maybe he thinks that I returned his kiss because I'm laying in his bed practically having pillow talk with him! What have I gotten myself into? He interrupted my thoughts by talking again.

"Ope can be a shit head sometimes but I love that guy. He's my best friend, not in the same way you are but my absolute best friend. I don't know how things are going to be without that guy. But sometimes his thinking is a little out there so no the way you were dressed was not the reason I was drinking so much. I had a lot of shit on my mind and I let drinking erase that for a few hours. So don't blame yourself you did nothing wrong. You did look smokin' hot though." I felt my cheeks redden and I tried to look away from him but he pulled my face back in place. "Don't do that Faith, don't look away because I complimented you. Look at you, someone needs to be complimenting you daily. And to be honest I would much rather it be me than one of those dickheads out there. When I do it, I mean it. They will do it just to get in your pants, speaking of which when did you get in my clothes?" I just stared at him, unsure of what to say. Deep down part of me was really starting to think he meant the kiss. I wanted to bring it up but I wasn't sure what he was going to say or if I was even going to like what he said. To be honest, this moment I don't think I would mind so much if he kissed me again. Woah, what the hell was going on with me this morning? This is my best friend! I needed to slow my roll before I did something I knew I would regret.

"Jax, there's something I want to talk to you about."

"You know you can talk to me about anything, even with morning breath." My hand instantly flew up to my mouth covering it as he laughed and brushed the stray hairs that fell onto my face.

"Its about..." the door opened cutting me off. Of course who else to be standing at the door but Opie. He stared at the two of us and stayed silent for a moment. He looked almost like he had seen a ghost, I strongly resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Yeah it was childish but at this moment I didn't care, he was constantly calling me kid anyway.

"Um Jax, Clay needs you."Ope just stood there staring at the two of us, I could tell he was unsure of what to say. Jax sighed and rolled out of bed and since he slept in his jeans, because I was uncomfortable taking them off all he had too do was throw on his shoes. He threw me a quick yet big smile and headed towards the door. They both just kind of stood there. Jax looked at Opie questioningly but didn't say a word. I had a feeling they were going to have a lovely conversation after I was out of ear shot. I didn't see why it was Opie's business on what didn't happen between me and Jax. Let him think what he wants because at this point I no longer care.

I laid there for another fifteen minutes waiting to see if Jax would return so I could talk to him about things. I had made up my mind that I needed to get it all out of the table and set boundaries and what not. Okay maybe not going that far but I needed to set things straight. I only prayed I didn't hurt his feelings. I cared way too much about him to hurt him, especially not the way Opie hurt me constantly. I walked out of Jax's room with my clothes thrown over my arm. After my conversation with Kyle, a big part of me wanted him to think I was sleeping with Jax. That's horrible and unfair to Jax but Kyle's ego needed a big set back, maybe this would give it to him. I could do a lot worse to him, I could tell Jax and let him beat him to a pulp but I would much rather handle the problem on my own. I pulled Jax's door shut quietly and walked through the clubhouse, trying to advert my eyes from the discarded women laying all over the room. I stared at the ground and just kept walking, thankfully knowing this place like the back of my hand. I was pretty proud of myself that is until I collided with someone. I quickly looked up to see Gemma. Great and of all times to run into her I do so while in her son's clothes. This was going to be lovely. Instead of giving me a lecture she moved out of my way with a smug grin on her face. I honestly don't know what was worse, the fact that she thinks I slept with Jax or the fact that she let me walk away without saying a word about it. I walked past her and it wasn't until I got to the front door that she called to me.

"Hey honey, are you forgetting Jax brought you here last night?" Fuck, I did forget. How was I going to get home? I looked around the clubhouse and saw none of its members. The chapel doors were closed so I guessed they were in there but it was forbidden to be in there so there goes finding a ride with anyone who was not Gemma or a croweater. I sighed and made my way to where Gemma was standing by the bar and hopped up on one of the bar stools. I swung myself around so I was facing Rick, the bartender. I sat my clothes on the bar, earning an even more obvious smile shared between her and Rick and I rolled my eyes.

"You guys have known me how long and you assume this of me?" Gemma looked down into her coffee and the bartender shrugged his shoulders while he was wiping out a cup. He was a decent sized guy, he was about 6'4" with long black hair. His hair wasn't shiny or perfect but that of a mechanic/motorcycle enthusiast. He had a small beard going on but only a slight mustache and of course, he was covered in tattoos.

"I've known you a little while but I've known Jax longer so I know just how easy it is for him with the ladies. From the looks of things that's you included, when you see him coming you get a big smile on your face. And just for the record that was a total walk of shame you did, walking with your head down afraid to look anyone in the face." I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe these two. I thought that they knew me better than that but I guess not. I couldn't believe they even insinuated that was a walk of shame. That was me trying to avoid seeing ten tons of naked female flesh before 9 a.m.

"First off, that was not a walk of shame. Do women ever leave Jax acting like they're ashamed? Nah I didn't think so. Secondly, Jax and I are just friends guys. I crashed in his room because I was tired and wanted to sleep. In case you forgot I had a bit of a long night, apparently I have a baby shower to plan and a bachelor party." The bartender named Rick laughed causing Gemma to laugh. Yeah I left a little piece of my heart on the counter with that last one, maybe I could pick it back up and shove it back in my chest without anyone noticing. Nope not possible so I kept on like everything was fine.

"Yeah that was crazy. Opie seems happy though?" Gemma said as she shook her head and put her hands up.

"Yeah that chick seems like a wrapped up bag of fun," Rick said and both Gemma and I looked at him crazily. "What about you Faith? Are you a wrapped up perfect bag of fun?" I scoffed. Ew first off he looked old enough to be my father, secondly ew never in my life time.

"Did you already forget? Jax claimed that ass last night maybe you should ask him." I was completely appalled and yet my cheeks reddened. I couldn't believe she said something like that. Granted it was Gemma but still ugh. Great I was never going to hear the end of this.

"Nothing happened. Ask him, he will tell you."

"Ask who what?" I heard Jax come up behind me. Great this just kept going from bad to worse.

"We were just talking to our little Faith here about what she did last night." Jax sat on the stool next to me. I just wanted to go home this was mortifying enough before he got here and with my luck he was going to join in on it.

"You okay Faye?" Jax asked with obvious concern in his voice. I nodded suddenly feeling a headache coming on. It had Gemma and Rick's name written all over it. I had a good night's sleep and I was doing my best to avoid drama this morning.

"Yeah when you get time can you give me a lift home?" He nodded, still staring at me and my face heated up even more. He was making this awkward. Had he always been like this and I just didn't notice? Nah, its just because I was so confused about him kissing me that's all. And that's what I told myself as we were walking outside towards his bike.

"Jax we need..."

"So you won't believe..." We both started talking at the same time. I became even more embarrassed than I was a few minutes ago. I motioned for him to go ahead as I started to nibble on my thumb. I wasn't sure how this conversation was going to go but it needed to happen and that factor scared the shit out of I figured I would let him say what he had to say in case my words ruined his day or whatever. I was scared. If this conversation went bad, I was losing my other best friend. On the other hand, if the conversation went great and the kiss was just a misunderstanding hopefully things would be back to normal.

"So you won't believe what Ope said to me. He gave me a lecture on sleeping with you. I told him we didn't do anything and he didn't believe me but he seemed mad as hell Faith. He even said and I quote, 'Jackson Teller doesn't cuddle.'" Well that was a quick way to get my attention. Why would Opie be pissed if Jax were sleeping with me? He was getting married, and then the light bulb over my head lit so hard it broke. Maybe he still had feelings for me! That would be awesome. Maybe we still had a fighting chance! It took everything in me not to happy dance in front of Jax because I still didn't know where we stood. If things worked out with me and Opie, it would be a lot different then I imagined in my head but it would still be perfect. I tried to picture us in my head, the way I used too, him sitting in the recliner watching football and me reading a book with our kids and dogs playing in the floor but everything started to blur. I tried concentrating again and it was still a blur, I lost sight of Opie completely and there I sat alone with my book in my head. That was weird.

"I wonder why he would be so pissed I mean he's getting married, that's what he wanted, her." He shrugged his shoulders and stared out into the parking lot. He looked like he had a loaded mind. I took a step towards him and reached out to give him a hug but he didn't respond to my advance. He just stood there staring out into the sunrise and a grim look on his face.

"Please Luanne, remember what I said. You deserve so much more than to be someone's back burner so don't jump head first into this. Promise me that you won't." I nodded, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. How could he bring me so much happiness and crush it in a single blow? He was right though. I did deserve to be so much more than a back burner but if you had a chance with the one person you loved more than anything wouldn't you take it? Wouldn't you jump right on it? That's what you do when you love someone and there's a chance they might love you back, at least that's what I thought.

"I'll keep it in mind, but Jax we need to talk about something." He turned to look at me and his eyes were swimming with emotion I was a little taken back. I stared down at the ground trying to work up my nerve on what to say and finally I just spit it out.

"Why did you kiss me?" He looked back out at the sunrise and stayed silent for a few minutes. I wonder if he even remembered kissing me, maybe he didn't and that's why he was thinking so hard. I stood staring at him, waiting for him to speak. When he finally spoke he was still staring at the sun, which I found odd. He always looks at me when he talks.

"I was drunk and looking for a release, I'm sorry." Wow I felt like I had just been knocked backwards. That was the answer I had wanted to hear and yet why did it feel like I was betrayed? I simply nodded at him, unsure of what else to say. This was what I wanted, I wanted things normal and I guess this was as normal as I would get right now.

"You ready to go?"

**a/n: sooo new chapter on this wonderful Teller Tuesday. God that man is gorgeous is he not? I usually update Just a former old lady today but I'm kind of stuck in a bit of a rut. My last review had me thinking a lot so I'm revising my current thoughts on the story, not ending it just trying to figure if I was going in the right direction. A special shout out to my readers you guys are fantabulous! just saying! i love reading your reviews because they never fail to make me smile you guys are the best. I'm going to keep updating as soon as possible I started a new job today ya for me in the long run but I promise to update as much as possible. Remember I have a two year old who has gone crazy lately lol, please keep reviewing and hopefully I have enough time tonight to get a new chapter started. I really like how this story is flowing together. btw guys are there seriously no team opie fans lol everybody was like nope jax hahaha i loved it though i hope you all enjoy the story. as for my last guest reviewer, you guys seriously need to give yourselves names so i can address u individually lol. I plan on writing in more Opie and I was kind of hoping every one noticed the Jax attraction in the first chapter. Tessaturd- hell of a pen name hahahaha i love it though I'm glad youre enjoying the story. Emmettluver im so glad you are back and she just might you never know. i have a feeling a lot of people arent going to like this chapter lol Tisha, it will be interesting I see a Faith Opie screaming match in the future :) and tracey you will just have to wait and see **


	8. feeling alive all over again

I was more thankful than hurt that Jax dropped me off and left without another word. I was still pretty stunned by his words, but torn at the same time. It was what I wanted right? I didn't want to mess up our friendship so why was this bothering me so much? I stood on my porch and watched him pull away. Granted, I couldn't really see his expression from here but I knew he was at ease, even with a million troubles on those big shoulders of his. There was no place in the whole world that made Jax happier than on his Harley. I sat down on my porch swing and let the day's events take hold of me. I woke up in Jax's arms and was really enjoying myself until Opie walked in, which really blew my mind. Jax told me that Ope had a spazz attack over seeing me with him, which not going to lie it made me feel smug. I'm glad he was jealous. He deserves it after making me jealous so many times and just for the record he was getting married. There's no room for jealousy when it comes to someone else when you're about to commit your life to someone...unless. Maybe he really did still have feelings for me. I jumped off of the swing and stood with a goofy grin on my face. My stomach started to flip. That would be amazing, we would finally have our chance, only I would always have to deal with Donna because of the baby. I slumped back down on the swing. Why couldn't things be easier? Didn't I deserve happiness? I looked out into the driveway and sighed. I really wish I could call Jax and talk to him about it. He'd tell me what to do. I just wish things with us wasn't so complicated right now. With everything going on I feel like I need him now more than ever and a little kiss seemed to put a big damper on that. Not to mention I was confused with how I'm feeling about everything right now. I mean I was just praying a few nights ago that he hadn't meant to kiss me and now that he admitted that he didn't I was down in the dumps. I still hadn't quite dealt with the entire Opie-Donna situation and now I'm tangled up with feelings about Jax. I needed to heal properly from the sorta loss of my first love, only right now I wasn't so sure it was a loss. I'm still holding on to the fact that we might still have a chance and it was eating me up. The front door opened bringing me out of my thoughts. My mom stood leaned against the door frame, studying me. I quickly threw on a peppy smile and looked up to meet her eyes to at least look sincere.

"You doing okay baby?" I nodded and stood up quickly. I made my way over to her and gave her a hug. She held me for a minute and her smell seemed to wrap around me. My eyes watered up and threatened to spill over but I stopped it real quick. I felt the urge to spill everything to her in that moment but I bit my tongue. She doesn't need my drama added to her already hectic day with work.

"Yeah mom I'm great. I was actually just thinking about how exactly to throw a baby shower." She arched her eyebrow at me and I laughed.

"Jax?" I shook my head and laughed somemore . Leave it to my mom to assume that Jax would be the first one of our tight knit group to have a child, then again the way he was with women I could see it too.

"Actually no, its Opie." From the looks of it, my mother's eyebrow was going to permanently stay on her face like that. She just stared at me for a few minutes and then shook her head.

"I figured he would be smarter than that but it happens. A baby is a wonderful gift from above sweetheart don't ever forget that. Now I came out here to tell you that there's someone on the phone for you." My face must have lit up with my smile. Only three people have my house phone number and that's Jax, Gemma, and Opie and to be honest hearing from either of my best friend would be wonderful. I ran towards the phone and picked it up just as I heard my mom say, "and for once its a girl." My heart sank. If she would have told me this prior I wouldn't have ran.

"What's up Gemma?" There was silence and then there was laughter. I looked at the phone confused. Okay that was weird, maybe she's high? I don't know.

"Actually, it isn't Gemma. Its Donna, Ope gave me the number I hope its okay that I called." Great just what I wanted, to talk to the love of my life's fiance/baby mama. I wedged the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I began to pick at the beds of my nails.

"Yeah its cool I guess, I'm just surprised he gave my number out. So what's up?" Was this going to be a thing now? Her calling me out of the blue because I don't know if my poor heart can take it.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch with me and go shopping for a little bit?." I smacked myself in the forehead. Great just great , because this is just what I wanted. How do I say no and not sound like a bitch? How about go yo hell you demon spawn? I grinned and to be honest it probably looked like Goob's smile from meet the robinsons. Yeah in my spare time I'm an evil genius so what? How I wish that were true. I realize I had been silent longer than it was socially allowed so I spoke.

"We could do that. When do you want to go?"

"Now preferably. Its going to take me ten minutes to get dressed and then maybe five to get to you. Does that sound good? Can we meet at the clubhouse this time and next time I'll pick you up at your house? " I mouthed fuck my life to no one at all and layer my forehead lightly against the wall by the phone.

"Sounds good, see you soon." I turned around and blushed when I noticed my mother had probably watched my whole conversation. She was leaned up against the kitchen entry way with a smug smile on her face. I had been caught being less than ecxited talking to Donna. I smiled sheepishly as I hung up the phone.

"Hey mom," I said with a smile. I was trying to lay on the niceness with my mother thickly, hoping to avoid an argument.

"So what did that girl ever do to you?" I shrugged again. It was very complicated to explain. How do I tell her than I mainly hate her because of my circumstance. She would just lecture means I'd pretend to agree with her and who would that help anyway? Exactly no one.

"Uhm well that's Ope"s fiancé/baby's mother. She wants to hang out and well yeah." Mom just shook her head.

"A conversation for another day I guess. Please attempt to have fun. You need female friends too don't forget that." I nodded and hugged her as I ran past.

I went upstairs and quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on. It would be nice if I could just wear Jax's pajamas but sometimes cuteness had to come before comfort. I ran to my closet and started scanning through every I owned until I spotted my light green 'more than just a pretty face...I've got a great ass too!' t shirt. I quickly changed shirts and put on my deodorant and then went to work on my make up. I'll admit I looked okay, not smoking hot like the other night but okay. For once I was fine with that. I gave myself one last once over and sighed. You can do this. She's just a girl, even if she is Opie's girl you can still be cordial. Let's do this. I walked downstairs and mom was sitting at the table reading the paper. I cleared my throat and she looked up from her paper with a smile.

"Hey mom, can I borrow the car for a few hours to go hang out with Donna?" She nodded and indicated the keys on the counter.

"Just be back before I have to go into work at two." I stared at the clock, it was a few minutes past eleven. I could stay for an hour maybe two with Donna and that would be acceptable. To make it even better I had a valid reason for leaving. Score one for Faith. I walked over to the counter and grabbed the keys and then made my way over to mom and kissed the top of her head.

"Thanks mom, I'll be back in plenty of time for you to go to work. I love you." She called out an I love you too as I neared the front door. I took a deep breath and walked out of it. Here goes nothing.

I made it to the clubhouse in eight minutes. I got out of my car and walked over to the picnic tables and was surprised by the sight I seen. Jax and Tara were sitting there talking but it didn't seem like a friendly conversations so I turned around and started walking back towards my car when I heard him raise his voice.

"Charming is my home Tara. Our home at that, I can't just leave it." I froze. What exactly were they talking about? She said something quietly so I couldn't really hear it but I heard his response.

"You know this is all I ever wanted. I thought it was enough for you. I love you don't you see that?" I hurried the rest of the way to my car and leaned up against it. She's trying to take him! Where I don't exactly know but is he going to go? Why does she want to leave? The first question repeated its self in my head. Is he going to go? I felt my heart drop to my stomach and I got the strong urge I was going to puke. I bent over just in case as Donna pulled up and rolled down the window of her beat up Honda.

"You ready to go?"

**a/n: sooooooo new chapter, I'm kinda fond of the twist with Tara trying to take Jax with her when she leaves what about you guys? Let me know what you think. I can't believe there's only two episodes left I'm going to cry I think especially with this mayhem vote coming they can't kill Jax! BTW do any of my readers watch the walking dead? If so I'm still in shock over last nights episode well as always review or just pm me and let me know what thou think u guys are the best**


	9. oh bartender I really did it this time

I took one last look over my shoulder to look at Jax. Tara was no where in sight and he had his head in his hands. My heart was still somewhere around my ankles after hearing their half sided arguement . What was I going to do if he left? I dont know how to be without him. Most of all I was terrified I was going to lose my partner in crime. I mean seriously my craziness just wouldn't be the same without him to compliment me. I look like the sane one of the two of us, so he wasn't here I would practically be Tig. I feigned in horror. He couldn't leave. I sighed as I focused my thoughts on my seemingly broken bff and I wanted to go to him and be there for him the way he has been there for me so many times. I have lost count on just how many times he's dealt with me when I was at my absolute worst and yet he still came around. I think I would have stopped being friends with my crazy ass a long time ago but neither him nor Ope had. My heart strings tugged hard as I watched him push his hair out of his face and stare at the garage with a blank stare. I knew in that moment that I couldn't go over there and it killed me. I don't know what was worse, the fact that I couldn't stand him looking so heartbroken or the fact that I knew he didn't need me.

"Is he okay?" Donna asked, drawing me out of my thoughts and endless staring, which I'm pretty sure that to an observing bystander looked very creepy. At this point I could careless if anyone talked shit. My very best friend was hurting and I couldn't fix it.

"I honestly don't know Donna, I honestly don't know."

As if sensing my presence, he looked up and his eyes locked with mine. I held his gaze for a moment and he did the most astonishing thing: he smiled. My heart seemed to spring back up from my feet and my stomach started to flip. He wiggled his fingers at me in a girly wave and lit up a cigarette and pushed off of the picnic table. My heart started to speed up as he started to walk in my direction. What is going on with me? I shook my head and broke the consistent eye contact we had managed to hold. I looked towards Donna and she smiled warmly. Is it really fair for me to hate her so much? Its not like she said Opie love me not her right? This was a problem between him and I so I needed to start treating it that way. I turned back to bid Jax farewell and he was gone. I craned my neck to look around the parking lot and it seemed that Jax grew wings and flew away. I felt a pinge of sadness but I shrugged it off and got into her car. I was determined to have a good time, even if it was with Donna.

We walked through a little shop on main street that held nothing but wedding clothes. Gag me with a spoon, but Donna was more than into it so I obliged. She was the one who invited me after all. She headed straight for the bridal dresses and I kinda dragged along behind her. Wedding shops were not my thing, it just remined me of everything I probably would never have with a person who will never want me. I shrugged it off the best I could and did what Opie's true best friend would do, I studied Donna. Her face glowed with excitement as we went through the bridal dresses. My heart twinged again. She was so happy I almost felt bad for wishing it all ended for her. I looked down pretending to admire a dress. In my own defense, or at least that's what I'm going to tell myself. Opie and I should be together. I've loved him for as long as I could remember. She interrupted my evil villian thoughts by speaking.

"You know I used to be so jealous of you." She said and I started choking on my own spit. I went into a coughing came around patting my back. I waved her off and gained composure. Why on earth would she be jealous of me. I'm jealous of her. She has everything I ever wanted wrapped around her little finger.

"Why in the hell would you be jealous of me?" I asked trying to keep the distain out of my voice.

"He loves you, ya know. I know he loves me too but not the way he loves you. For the longest I lived in your shadow. Everything I did all he seen was a representation of you." I was in utter shock but I played it off so good by rolling my eyes. I debated on exactly what to say, so I didn't show my heart's true desire.

"I highly doubt it. He always makes me feel like I'm not ever good enough. Not only that he constantly makes me feel like I'm not even on his level." My eyes stung and I realized just how true everything I was saying was. I guess I tried so hard not to reveal my feelings for Opie that my feelings about him poured out. She wrapped me in a tight hug and when she let me go she led me towards the bridesmaid dresses. I cringed but I didn't allow her to see it. She truly was an outstanding person. I wasn't sure if it was because I felt so bad about being in love with her other half or because I was genuinely starting to enjoy being around her but I fulfilled her wish and tried on multiple dresses. Some of which were just downright horrendous others were decent. It wasn't until I tried on the last dress that Donna stood up and her hands flew up to her mouth. I instantly felt self conscious. I looked down at the dress and started pulling up the chest a little and it was quite snug on my hips. Donna walked up to me and swatted my hand.

"Stop, its perfect." My cheeks turned an intense shade of red. The dress was an eggshell white and a royal purple. Most of it was white and the stomach area bunched up a little and was purple. From there the dress faded from different shades of white to the dark purple. It was a beautiful dress I will say that. I looked down at the dress again and then back up at Donna just in time to see her snap a picture.

"What are you doing?" She rolled her eyes like 'isn't it obvious?'

"Jax is going to love you in this dress. Your cleavage looks amazing." I felt as if the air had been knocked out of my lungs. I know it was supposed to be a compliment but why would she say something like that. What has she heard? Or did she assume more because of the parking lot showdown?

"Uhm why will Jax love me in this dress?" I finally asked after a few moments silence. My heart hammered in my chest and it was almost as if I couldn't breathe. She looked up from her phone and laughed like everything was fine and great and I wasn't coming unglued on the inside.

"Well obviously Opie told me about the two of you." I started to feel dizzy. Was it hot in here or was it just me? I had to sit down. I just took a seat right there on the stool I was standing on.

"Donna, Jax and I are just friends. I don't know why Opie would say such things. He was never much of a gossip before." She laughed and sat down next to me.

"Honey there's nothing to be ashamed of. Jax is a great guy. You of all people should know that." I stood up and stared directly down at her.

"I'm not saying he's not a great guy. I'm just saying there's nothing going on between us." She shifted uncomfortably. She didn't even look me in the face when she replied.

"I'm sorry I was just going off of what Opie told me." My mouth fell agape. For someone who never used to be a gossip he sure as hell was doing a lot of it now .

"And what exactly did my so called best friend say? I want to make sure I get it right when I punch him in the gut," because you know I can't reach his face cause he's a freaking giant. She started playing with her hands, I could tell she was nervous and part of me felt bad. The very small part of me that was still reasonable.

"I'm sorry I said anything. I don't want to cause any problems. We were having such a good time and I ruined it. I'm so sorry." I shook my head, as mad as I was before I was all but seeing red now.

"You didn't do a damn thing wrong so don't apologize. He should be the one who's sorry. Now what did he say?" She put her head in her hands and if I wasn't trying very hard I wouldn't have caught what she said.

"He said he caught you and Jax in bed together a few days ago. That's all he really said I promise. Again I'm so sorry I ruined our day together." If I thought I was seeing red before I saw crimson now. How dare he! I started to storm out of the store but I turned around and walked back towards Donna.

"We were cuddling! That is it so he can suck my dick! Jax and I lay together all the time and he's never made a stink before." I started to storm off but before I did I added, "I had a really nice time today and I would really like to do it again if you don't hate me for killing your husband." And with that I stormed out of the store, hell bent and determined to find Opie and give him a big freaking piece of my mind. How dare he run his mouth about something he knows nothing sbout! I was just going to punch him first talk to him later. Yeah thats exactly what i was going to do.I was almost to Gemma's when the sight of flashing red and blues behind me caught my attention. I stopped walking and turned around and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was still wearing the dress.

"Luanne, you need to come with me." I saw Chief Uncer and I swore outloud but I didn't protest as he opened up the back door of his cruiser and motioned for me to get in. The end of my perfect day: getting sent to jail for accidentally stealing a dress because my best friend had became a gossiping girl. Could this day get any worse?

**a/n: bonus chapter because I just couldn't quit...and ya know its my favorite holiday tomorrow teller Tuesday! We don't have many left. I only got one review on the last chapter :( so thank you for reviewing it means so much seriously now this one is full of juicy things so I would really like to hear from you guys **


	10. I swear I always fall for your type

After we got to the station, I tried to sweetly talk to Chief Unser about what happened. I explained to him that it was an accident, I simply forgot I was wearing the dress. I was mad at my friend and I seemed to forget what I was doing. I also stressed that I seriously wanted my clothes back because that was one of my favorite shirts.I also overstated the factor that it would never happen again because I didn't want to be around wedding dresses right now. None of it seemed to work, not because of my lack of trying mind you, but because the store owners were being douche nuggets and apparently thought it was fitting I at least spent the night in jail. So I got to spend my first night in jail, because of a dress I never wanted in the first place that I needed to go to a wedding I would rather crawl in a pit of dirt than be in because it will make my gossiping seemingly female giant best friend who I don't even like right now, happy. Yeah I'm seriously going to punch him in the gut when I seen him. Remember all of that crap i was saying earlier about us possibly having a chance, yeah I'm so mad right now I don't think if he was on fire I would piss on him to put it out. You know that would be really awkward, pissing on some one in general. Like how would that situation even come up? Oh my god you're on fire, let me pee on you real quick. I rolled my eyes at myself. Sometimes I really overthink things. I looked around the police station and my eyes watered a bit. I couldn't help but shake my head over the irony of it all. I mean come on, I've been best friends with two members of Samcro for most of my life andi hadn't even had a slight brush with the law. And now here I am, waiting for my paperwork to be processed so I can be booked and put in a cell. To make matters worse, it was over a freaking dress! I wasn't a badass. I wasn't getting put in jail for gunrunning or even assault, hell at the very least disorderly conduct. Nope it was forever going down on my record as being a bridal dress theif.. That seemed to dry my tears up and even caused me to laugh. Jax was never going to let me hear the end of it. My head jerked up as his name entered my thought train. Maybe he would never find out.I rolled my eyes, like that was going go happen. Charming is a small town, by now at least a fourth of the town knew what happened and soon the rest would too.

I heard my name and looked up. Unser was staring at me and made his way towards me. My chest tightened and I knew it was time. I stood up and my eyes went straight to the handcuffs that one of the deputies insisted that I had to wear. Hell while they were at it they should just give me a jumpsuit, I think it would be just as humiliating. Unser reached me and undid my cuffs.

"I'm sorry about all of this," I managed to nod. I know it was dumb trying not to cry but I couldn't help it. This was all so new to me. So i did what Gemma would do: I put on a hard face and held my head up. I was not going to give these bastards the satisfaction of seeing me cry. He nicely escorted me to one of the very few jail cells that were inside the small Charming Police department. My eyes welled up as I stared at the bed but I sucked it up and took a seat on the seriously uncomfortable cot thing that they classified as a bed. I kept telling myself 'Be Gemma' she's strong, beautiful and has a will of steel. I could do this. Unser placed his key in the door and locked it. To his credit, he looked like he felt really bad about doing it so that made me feel better. I stood up and walked towards the door.

"Chief Unser?" He turned back to face me.

"What can I do for you sweetheart?" I looked down at my feet and let out a big sigh. The tears were coming back and I fought them hard.

"Please don't call Jax. I don't want him to see me this way. I know one of them probably will call you once they've found out. But please have them send Clay or Tig. Hell anyone else other than Jax." He nodded and a sad smile filled his features.

"I'm going to call them now. I'm sorry you got roped up into this Luanne." The two tears trickled down my face.

"Ya know, you're one of the only people who call me by my first name." He stared at me for a minute before speaking. My stomach started to flip at the possibilities of all the things he could say.

"You're a good girl Luanne, don't let them change you." I didn't even get a chance to say anything else because he was gone.

I swear I don't know how people with long term sentences do it, because every second felt like a minute and every minute felt like an hour. Was time really supposed to go this slow? I decided to use my time wisely. I could think in here without being interrupted. I thought about my current situation with Opie. I loved him, I don't ever really think I could stop loving him. There's no one in the world quite like him and yet I took a look at my surroundings. I landed myself in jail because I was mad at him for insinuating that I was with another man. Maybe i overreacted a tiny bit but i was mad, well i don't know if I was more mad or hurt but I was plenty of both. Why doesn't he see me? I've been here the whole time and yet I truly don't exist. I honestly don't think he will ever realize how much I truly care for him. Maybe Jax was right and it was time to find someone else, but I didn't feel ready for that. I still love him even though I know I shouldn't. In a way I felt that love would go away on its own. He was such a big part of me, even if the love was unreturned, it needed time to heal. That brought me to my next situation, my seemingly blooming friendship with Donna. God I want to hate her just as much as I want to be her. She has the life that I have always wanted, and the worst part about it is that she doesn't even know it. There's not any question that I love him more but no matter what I do he loves her more. Its kind of infuriating actually. I want to shake him and be like 'NOTICE ME DAMMIT I LOVE YOU!' But I highly doubt that will even work. He can be pretty blind sometimes. I let out a big sigh. I would like to attempt to be friends because not going to lie having a female friend would be nice but would she be the proper friend? I couldn't exactly explain to her just how much my heart hurt and the reasoning. I shrugged. Maybe it was worth a chance only time will tell.

That brought me to my last situation: Jax. I wasn't really sure what was going on there. He's my absolute best friend, I would give my right boob for the guy if for some random as hell reason he needed it. He's confusing me with all of this lately. He tells me in so many words I deserve someone who loves me too and I'm awesome, which I already knew I was awesome. He's mainly right though, I deserve to be more than someone's back burner and then he goes and kisses me. That really threw me off into the deep end. Which I'm still puzzled about to be honest. I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him and if anyone could take him from me it would be Tara. She has this strange kind of power over him. I'm going to talk to him and tell him how I feel on this subject. Maybe if he knows how bad its hurting me he wouldn't go. If I knew anything I knew the he would do anything to keep me from being hurt. But is that selfish? To make him feel guilty to stay be because i didn't want to be without was wrong. But it was nice having some one who was there for you no matter what and I didn't want to lose that but at the same time I wanted him happy. I know I make a lot of sense. I sighed as I wondered what was becoming of our friendship. I couldn't tell if he was trying to jump the barrier or not and I really didn't want to change things between us. On the other hand, I really enjoyed our morning together the other day. I have a feeling that's how it would be if we were together.I shook my head. I wonder what he was doing now. Did he leave? No I shook my head again, he would never leave without telling me bye. I felt kind of bad about telling Unser not to allow Jax to pick me up but he couldn't see me like this. Granted, he's seen me looking like a total wreck and still managed to be my friend but this was different. I don't ever want him to picture me behind bars. I shook my head. Was that wrong of me? When I got out of here the first thing I was going to do was find Jax. I was going to explain to him why I didn't want him to see me and everything will be fine between us. I smiled to myself, then I was going to talk to him about leaving and it will be right in the world again.

I leaned back against the wall and blew my hair out of my face when a movement in front of me caught my eye. I sat up to see what it was and I grimaced. Jax stood leaned up against the wall with the biggest smirk on his face and I instantly felt like punching Unser in the face. I told him not to let him come and yet here he is, standing in front of me pretty much laughing at me. My cheeks heated and I couldn't believe I was blushing right now.

"What are you doing here?" He pushed his weight off of the wall and came up to lean against the bars.

"Well Unser called Clay and I had to come pick you up." I rolled my eyes. So much for delivering the message of 'don't let Jax come'.

"Jax I," I paused and debated on what to say. I quickly decided,this was my best friend I never had to lie to him. "I asked Unser to tell the guys not to let you come." His smile reached his eyes and he let out a small chuckle.

"And you really thought I was going to listen to them? Clay told me not to come and I came anyway. You're my best friend Faith, I couldn't let you sit in here. I know this is hard on you so let's go I bailed you out." I shook my head as the tears started to fall. I looked away from him and stared at the wall.

"I didn't want you too see me like this Jax. I never wanted you to picture me in jail," I said my voice coming out barely a whisper.

"Why wouldn't you want me to see you? Oh I get it. You didn't want me to know you went bridezilla on Donna and stole her dress." The tears dried up instantly as I turned to face him and gave him the biggest glare I could muster up. How dare he laugh at me in my emotional state?

"Hahaha hilarious, I forgot you were so funny." He smirked and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well I'm always available for reminders darlin." I stood up and walked towards the cell door. It was really hitting me hard that there was a chance he was going to leave. What was I going to do?

"That the dress you're wearing to Ope's wedding?" I looked down at the dress I was still wearing and despite the fact that the bottom was dirty, it was still really pretty. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm not sure I'm still invited. I did threaten bodily harm to the groom." Jax ran a hand over his slight stubble on his chin and laughed.

"You must have been a sight to see. Actually Donna feels horrible. She called Ope crying after you stormed out of the store." And just like that I felt guilty. I wasn't sure exactly why I feel bad for her but I did. So I was a laughing stock before they knew I was in jail I'm guessing. Sometimes my best friends are jerks.

"I guess I should apologize..."

"The dress looks beautiful on you Luanne." I felt like my skin was on fire. That was sort of random. I took a wild guess that the warmness was from blushing so I threw back a witty comeback.

"Better than a tux." He chuckled slightly.

"Much better."

We walked out of the jail together and made our way to his bike. He suddenly turned to me and grinned.

"I was going to bring the van, I knew you would be horrified about ruining the dress that you literally went to jail for." I punched him in the shoulder as hard as I could muster and snatched his helmet off of his bike. He climbed on and waited patiently as I bunched up the bottom of my dress and climbed on. My legs felt naked but I knew they were no more exposed than when I wore a pair of shorts. I adjusted the ball of dress so it was wedged in between me and Jax. I wrapped my arms around him as he sped off. I will never be able to quite describe the feeling of being on the back of a bike. Every single thought I have disappears and all I can concentrate on is just how at peace I am. I leaned my head into Jax's back and just enjoyed the moment because I knew it wouldn't be long before we were home. We don't do this often so it was nice, i must have spaced out because I was really surprised that we were pulling into the clubhouse. Wait a minute what are we doing at the clubhouse? Jax pulled into the nearest spot to the door and shut his bike off. He climbed off quickly and extended his hand to help me off.

"I thought you were taking me home." He grinned and shook his head.

"I never said I was taking you home." I rolled my eyes. He started to walk away but I reached out and grabbed his arm. He turned around quickly and stared down at me.I started to feel embarrassed but I shrugged it off quickly. It was just Jax, no reason to be embarrassed.

"I need to talk to you about something." He took a few steps back in my direction.

"You know you can talk to me about anything darlin."

"Are you going to go with her?" He sighed and I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around his body. I leaned in to his chest to attempt to keep myself from crying. He was silent for a minute but just as he opened his mouth to speak the door to the clubhouse opened and the guys started pouring out. I barely heard his whisper of 'later' as he pulled away from me. I heard Tig before I saw him.

"Where's my favorite jail bird?" I rolled my eyes and stepped to Jax's side, only to be engulfed in a hug from Chibs.

"There ya are lass, we thought maybe Unser decided to keep ya." I laughed as they ushered me towards the clubhouse.

"Come on Chibs you already know he shipped me out of the door as soon as he could." We all entered the clubhouse laughing. I was the first to walk through and I damned near collided with none other than Opie.

"Can we talk?" Shit, I definitely needed a drink to handle whatever he had to say. Last time I almost had a heart attack.

**a/n: so two updates in one week go me! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it shout out to .1 for figuring out my next chapter and Alovelyeccentricsoul you shall get your wish next chapter I'm sure unless I change my mind but the way I'm seeing it now seems perfect what are our thoughts on the red rose episode? I feel gemma went out perfectly and true to her character. Word weavers dream thank you for consistingly reviewing this story seems to have lost the somewhat decent fan base it had lol but I shall continue on BC I enjoy the story myself **


	11. like abottle of jack straight 2 the head

It seemed as if every hair on my body stood on end and believe it or not it wasn't because Opie wanted to talk. It was more like the feeling of being watched. I could only think of one person who would be doing so. I turned and looked over my shoulder at Jax. For some odd reason it just felt like he was watching me. I spotted him instantly, standing in between Chibs and Tig. They seemed to be enjoying their conversation but I could tell Jax wasn't in it. He was, in fact, staring right at me. His stare was intense like he could almost bore holes into me but his smile was playful, like the situation amused him. I gave him a big smile and his smirk got a little bigger. Yeah he knew he had been caught creeping but I don't think he cared very much. I guess it didn't bother him that I knew, hmm never know I guess. I thought back about this conversation I was about to have with Opie and it surprised me that I already knew what I was going to do. My hours in jail had sobered me up a little in my life I guess. I turned back towards Opie.

"You know I don't exactly have a minute. I need to unwind a bit after being so cooped up. I'm going to go talk to the guys I'll talk to you later.." I turned to walk away from him and he grabbed my arm. I turned and looked at him a bit stunned. What was he doing?

"Luanne, don't do this to me. Don't walk away from me. We've been friends forever." I nodded. I think he kind of picked up that i was mad at him and at this moment I really didn't care. Yeah I know we had been friends forever and I had pretty much been in love with him for just as long. I had bent over backwards for him for most of my life and I couldn't do it any more. So what I was doing now was for me.

"I'm not doing anything to you. I'm going to go have a drink with my friends and pretend I didn't just spent the last two hours inside a police station for stealing a damn dress. On that note, I'm going to get a drink. You're more than welcome to come..." I said, trailing off as I walked towards Jax. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt like I thought it would. I had imagined that walking away from him would cause me to cry but I actually had a smile on my face.I barely heard him call my name, but as always my body was so intuned to him it was ridiculous. I slightly turned and he was standing there smiling at me. His arms were crossed against his chest.

"It was worth it. You look beautiful Faith." I simply smiled and continued walking. Now that one stung just a bit. He never tells me how good I look and then boom! Just when I decide that I'm not going to be his puppet anymore he tells me how beautiful I am. It unnerved me a bit, but I made sure to hold my head high. I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of knowing his compliment hit home. I continued my stride towards the three men standing by the pool table.

I made it over to the three guys and Tig immediately threw his arm around me. He decided that it would be an appropriate time for a noogie, which I didn't agree. I freaking hated noogies! I quickly pulled myself out of his hold and attempted to fix my hair. It didn't go as well as I had hoped.

"Ahh she's one of us now guys! You make me so proud." I flipped Tig off. Asshole, I already knew I was never going to hear the end of it. He leaned into my neck and I pushed him off.

"You know guys maybe we should call Unser."

"And why's that?" Chibs asked with genuine curiousity.

"To get Faith's mugshot. I think it'll make a nice christmas present." Jax spit out his beer and started to laugh. Chibs shook his head and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe he just went there.

"Sorry to burst your bubble doll, but the absolute last thing I want for christmas is my mug shot picture." He shook his head with a smile on his face.

"Not for you baby, for me." Okay I was more appalled then I was fifteen seconds ago.I think I was more grossed out then anything. Why would he want my picture? Unless it was too...ew. Ew ew ew! No not gonna happen. I looked up at Jax and my face was all wrinkled up from the grossness withTig. He was just standing there with a smile on his face, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. He lifted his bottle up I'm guessing in a cheers gesture towards me and tipped it back. When he was done, I reached across from me and stole Jax's beer out of his hand. His lips twitched but his smile remained. I took a long swig and made sure I kept the smile on my face. I wasn't huge on beer, I'll drink it but I'd rather have whiskey or jager to be honest. I knew that he knew that as well. I drank the rest of his beer in stride and politely handed him the bottle back. He looked down at the empty bottle and shook his head with a smile on his face.

"Be a dear and fetch me another drink darlin'." I said with a smile on my face. He actually did, surprisingly the hell out of me. He brought me a shot of whiskey and himself another beer. I wasn't quite sure what a shot of whiskey was going to do for me but hey it works. I slammed it down quick and then proceeded to make my way to the bar. I snatched up the bottle from behind the bar and took a long drink as I made my way back over to the guys. I stopped by Jax and leaned in. That shot went straight to the head. I was already starting to feel good. Just then, I heard the jukebox begin playing. I didnt know the song but the beat made me want to dance. I snatched up Jax's hand. His eyebrow lifted but he didn't hesitate. He set his beer down and followed me by the jukebox. I just started to dance. I'm not sure if it was the music or the alcohol but I was feeling good.

After the song ended, Jax pulled me into him. We were inches from each other's faces. My breath hitched in my throat and I knew he was going to kiss me. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted it or not though. Part of me was screaming KISS ME DAMMIT! The other part of me was screaming GET AWAY FROM ME NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING! I started to step back but I couldn't move. This time I knew it wasn't the whiskey, this was 100% me and I was scared shitless. I managed to meet his eyes and he gave me a warm smile and just like that I knew everything was going to be okay. I closed my eyes, ready to let it happen when a light suddenly lit up the clubhouse and I slowly stepped away from Jax. Thankfully I did because in walked Gemma and Tara. Jax looked over his shoulder then back at me and gave me a wink. Seeing Tara reminded me of our earlier conversation.

"Jax, we still need to talk about you..." Tara and Gemma walked up. Gemma pulled me into a hug then pulled me away from her to get a look at my choice of wardrobe. She laughed slightly and shook her head. Meanwhile, Tara snuggled up into Jax's side. I quickly looked away. For some odd reason I felt like I was intruding on their private moment. I motioned towards the bar and Gemma got the hint and followed me over there.

"So do I even ask?" She asked motioning the dress. I shrugged and picked up my bottle of Jack and took a hearty swig.

"I accidentally stole a dress and went to jail because of it." She took the bottle from me and took a swig herself. She set the bottle back in front of me.

"Yeah that deserves a drink." I nodded and took another swig. I stole a glance at Jax and he had his arms wrapped around Tara's lower back and she was gazing up at him with an animated look on her face. My heart hit my stomach. He was going to go with her. It was more apparent now then ever. I was so lost in staring I didn't notice that Gemma was in fact staring at me now.

"Alright spill it. And don't give me no 'I don't know bullshit'. You know something!" My cheeks reddened. I can't believe I was so careless I was caught.

"I think she's gonna take him from us Gem," I said with my voice cracking. She turned her seat around and stared directly at them.

"Shit." Was all she could say. Hell its all I could feel. I looked at them again and took another swig of my bottle. His face was just as lit up as hers was. How could I have even imagined for a second that he was into me? He's clearly crazy about her. I felt the chair on the opposite side of me shift. I turned slightly and seen it was Opie. Great just what I needed. Another reminder of someone who doesn't love me.

"Need a drinking buddy?" He asked motioning the bottle. I looked down at the now three fourths of the way empty bottle of Jack and shrugged. I stood up and looked down at him. Its not often I get to do such since he's a giant and all. I walked towards the clubhouse door and turned around. I caught Jax out of the corner of my eye. He was still engulfed in Tara of course. I resisted the urge to puke. Yeah i know its childish but I'm drinking and right now and i don't care. I looked for Opie and was surprised to findhim looking at me. He got up and followed me without a second thought. It wasn't lost on me that of all the times I cried, begged,and wished he would do this now that I decided I would move on he does it. I took a seat at the picnic table and he sat across from me. Surprisingly, he looked completely at ease as well. I really started to study him, which I knew was a bad idea but I did so anyway. He wasn't looking at me but off in the parking lot. His beanie covered most of his hair and for once his beard was trim and all in one place. I resisted the urge to mess it up but this was not the time.

"I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry for all of the times I hurt you. I'm sorry for making you cry and I'm sorry for you being so pissed at me it would you up in jail." Damn, that was the last thing I was expecting.

"I can't believe you told Donna that Jax and I were sleeping together." He turned and looked at me.

"Aren't you?" I shook my head and took a swig of my bottle. Opie reached across the table and took it. He took a big swig and my head was starting to feel funny. Opie lifted the bottle and looked at it. Yeah I knew it was almost empty and no I didn't care I had almost finished a bottle of whiskey by myself.

"No we're not. You literally walked in on us cuddling. Thats it. And besides since when did you turn into a chick? Gossiping about shit you don't know about." He smiled so big I seen the white of his smile in the dark. It caused my stomach to flip. No no no you can't do this!

"If you would have seen him you would understand."

"No I wouldn't."

"He had this constant smile about him no matter what we did all day. He smiled so hard his face should have cracked." I rolled my eyes and snatched up my bottle and finished it off. Opie shook his head and laughed.

"I'm gonna go grab another bottle. I'll be right back." He pushed up off of the table and walked back in the clubhouse. I sat at the table drumming my fingers away. The air seemed so quiet, but that could be because it was the middle of the night and all of the noise was happening indoors. I layed my head down on the table. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to someone shifting the weight of the table. I squinted and spotted none other than Kyle Hobart. I groaned and put my head back down.

"Don't you ever fucking give up? I'm in no mood for your bullshit." He laughed and leaned forward.

"Just wanted you to know, I'm still waiting for you. I deserve to have you and I will."

**a/n: so it will always be teller Tuesday to me even though its over:((( what a great ride it was though and it wont ever be the same. So always review and let me know what you think**


	12. why u gotta act like that

I felt my heart drop down to my stomach. I got up as quickly as I could and damned near tripped over the picnic table. My so called spidey senses were tingling. I had felt weird around Kyle before and even scared but this was another feeling entirely.I didn't belong to anyone. Especially not Kyle. Not only is he ugly but he's creepy as hell. I mean seriously, who wakes up an obviously drunk girl to claim possession of her? Yeah no body. He walked over to be and I felt my heart start to come out of my chest and not for a good reason . I needed to get away from Kyle quickly. I saw flashes of him hurting me and I kicked myself into survivor mode. I was not going to let piss ant Kyle Hobart win. I brushed myself off and stood up. I guess in my haste to get away from the psycho, I had fallen. My knee stung but I didn't want to think about any of that right now. Right now I just had to concentrate on getting closer to that door. My eyes focused again and I saw Kyle walking towards me. I stumbled backwards as quickly as I could.

"You walk around here like you're high and mighty. You're no better than me. I'm going to have you, not Opie and sure as hell not 'prince' Teller. We would be so good together. You'll see." He took a step closer to me and I made a split decision and booked it to the door. Now the sad part, I would have made it no problem if I wasn't wearing this now seemingly disastrous dress. I tripped over the bottom and fell flat on my face. The door swung open and Opie walked out of it. I lifted my head the best of my ability. I had the nasty taste of blood overflow my mouth. I rolled my eyes and made a vow to never drink most of a bottle of whiskey by myself unless both Jax and Opie were with me. I would at least have one of them with me at all times and piece of snot Kyle would be no where in sight. Regardless of all the shit he talks, I know he is scared to death of both of them. I also know that as sure as I'm laying here they wouldn't let him near me. Jax had a grudge against Kyle. Why I don't know but when I asked him about it he said he just didn't trust him like he does the other guys. Which I don't think is a good sign. I looked back up at Opie and h almost seemed frozen in place. His face held a look of horror but I quickly flashed him what was probably a bloody smile. I looked around and Kyle was no where in sight. I made a quick decision not to tell Ope about Kyle. I needed to handle it sober. The last thing I wanted was the club at war with each other because of me. I tried to stand up but I lost my balance. You know scratch that last statement about only drinking like this when they're around. I'm never drinking like this period! Opie ran to me and leaned down to my level. He scooped me up but I waved him off. I used his arm as leverage to stand up. I gave him a week smile.

"What the hell happened Luanne, and don't you even think about lying to me." He lifted his hands and cupped my face. I stayed silent, lost in the tenderness that he never showed me before. What was with his sudden change in attitude? Its like I don't even know this side of him. It actually made me feel bad about lying to him. Nah not really. I was lying to him for his own good. It wasn't good for him to be at odds with one of his brothers and it definitely wasn't good for the club.

"I fell asleep on the picnic table. I heard a noise and it startled me. I jumped up and fell over the picnic table." He shook his head. I could see a thousand things weighing on his mind. I wanted to touch him. Wow where did that come from? I bet his skin was hard and rugged just like he was. I gave in to my wants for once. If it blew up in my face I'd just blame it on being drunk. I reached out and gently touched his cheek. Despite my assumptions, his skin was baby smooth. It was like lotion against my fingers. He closed his eyes as I lightly stroked his cheek. My stomach started to flip. I suddenly felt like I was going to puke. This was the moment. It was perfect, minus my bleeding mouth but fuck it that'll add to the story later on in life. I decided I was going to tell him. No more beating around the bush it was time he knew.

"Opie I..." The clubhouse door opened and out walked Happy and Donna. She ran over to us and her hands flew to my face. She quickly pulled me into a hug. I stood there awkwardly until I realized she was hugging me because this was the first time she had seen me since I stormed out of the dress shop. That and the fact that my lip was slightly bleeding didn't help.

"I was so worried! I heard the dresshop call the cops and I didn't have your number. I called everyone I could think of to get ahold of you. I'm so sorry." She squeezed me tighter. I slipped out of her grasp.

"Yeah I'm fine now. Uhm I'm going to change my clothes and stuff I'll catch up with you later."

I slipper into the clubhouse followed by Happy. Yeah it seemed like I was avoiding Donna but I was really avoiding myself. I had gotten so caught up in the moment with Ope that I had just about spilled my guts about everything. I can't believe I did that. I mean seriously! I've hidden that I was in love with him for years and yet the first time he shows me affection I almost spill the beans. I turned towards Happy. He was standing awkwardly at the door. He was always so quiet, but sometimes it was nice. Like now, I have all of this time to mentally scold myself because he's silent.

"Hap, do you mind if I borrow your shower and some clothes? I don't know where Jax is or what he's doing or I would ask him." I saw a grimace come across Happy's face and I felt bad for asking. I shouldn't have asked. I don't know why I did. I mean I don't know him that well I should have assumed he would say no. I'm such an idiot.

"Don't have one." Huh? Don't have what?

"What is it you don't have?"

"A shower. I'm from a different charter ."

"Oh," I was embarrassed. I knew there were other charters but I never assumed Happy was from one. He was around all of the time. "That's okay then thanks."

I walked away in a bit of a hurry. I headed straight for Jax's room. I didnt bother to look for him because I knew wherever he was, he was with Tara and I don't want to be in that love triangle right now. I barged into his room only to find him pounding the hell out of Tara from behind. My face turned all kinds of shades of red. And I ran. I vaguely heard "oh shit" but I kept running. I wound up colliding with Happy, surprisingly I didnt feel bad. I looked over my shoulder as Jax's door opened.

"Can you give me a ride home please? I wouldn't ask but I have no one else." I was talking so fast all of my words ran together as one. I've seen a lot of shit in my years of being friends with the club but I had never seen Jax sleep with anyone. I wiped the tears out of my eyes with my hand as I followed Happy to his bike. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to takes a nice hot shower and pretend this day never happened. Maybe this would be better tomorrow I highly doubted it but I knew nothing would be okay until I was in my bed.

A/n: this story isn't getting reviews like it used too :( I don't know why its strange so I'm posting this up for those of you that do read it review and enjoy


	13. when it hurts will we still see what we

The ride home was utter silence, but for once I welcomed it. I know its hard to communicate on the back of a bike but Igot the feeling that we could have been in a car with no radio and it still would have been this quiet. Happy just must be a quiet guy. Ope can be pretty quiet sometimes too so I was used to it. In a way though I missed Jax's random chatter. Even when we were on his bike he still would randomly turn around and talk to me. But that was just how he was. I sighed I knew I just plain missed Jax. I couldn't shake the image of him pounding into Tara's flesh. This was the first time I had seen him or Opie doing the nasty as they say. It wasn't likely a thing I was going to forget. Tara's loud moans didn't help the forgetting process much.I had a feeling deep in my heart that he was going to leave Charming. Life would be so weird without him. If anyone could make him go it was defiantly her. She has these mystical powers over him, that or her ass must be really good enough to blind him of everything else. I shrugged. Yeah that could be the case. My thoughts bounced to my other best friend. He's done a complete 360 on me. I swear I don't know if its the liquor or just him but for the first time in my life I felt like he was really into me. It was a nice yet surreal feeling. It sure didn't change anything. He's still getting married and having a kid. So why the change of heart now? Just when I decide that loving him is toxic to my health. Why couldn't he have shown interest a few months ago? I sighed, I was trying to look at the bigger picture but truth be told all I saw were negatives. Jax was leaving. Opie is getting married. So in a way I wouldn't be just without Jax. Opie was getting married, I would pretty much lose him too. I felt my body start to sag against Happy's back ask fought back the tears. They were going to leave me. What in the hell was I going to do? Would I be okay without my two best friends? I probably wouldn't go to the clubhouse anymore. I'd defiantly still go to Clay and Gemma's because they're family. I did not want to be pitied, which i know everyone will do.I hated that more than anything! It was time I learned to be on my own. So right here, right now I made a promise to myself. It was time to be more independent.

We pulled up in my driveway and I got off of the bike. I stood awkwardly next to it, unsure of what to say. In my emotional state I had turned to a complete and mostly silent stranger. But I really don't think it fazed him too much. He started to back out when I held up my hand to stop him. He removed his shades and stared at me. I swallowed back the tears and the massive lump in my throat because I wanted to thank him. He did me a great favor by bringing me home. I knew I couldn't hang around and listen to Jax's bullshit or watch Opie with Donna. Not tonight.

"I just wanted to say thank you. You did me a great favor by bringing me home tonight." He nodded.

"You look like you had a rough night. Did one of the croweaters getcha?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Much to my dismay the tears started rolling. Happy surprised the hell out of me by shutting off his bike and taking a seat on my porch. I got up and followed him, sitting next to him.

"Its okay kid. You win some, you lose some. Nothing to cry over. Trust me if I cried every time I got a black eye. I defiantly wouldn't be a member of Samcro. You're tough kid, I've seen it." I couldn't help but laugh. For some one who doesn't talk a lot, he sure knows all of the right things to say.

"No it wasn't a croweater. Its just been a really shitty night. I feel like both of my friends abandoned me in different ways tonight. And then the bullshit with Kyle. Its just been a long night." I couldn't believe I had almost told him about Kyle! What the hell! He was a complete stranger! Oh my god! Maybe he didn't notice.

"Are you trying to tell me that a man did this to you?" I shook my head quickly.

"No it wasn't like that! It was my fault. I tripped and ..." Happy stood up.

"Its never okay to hit a woman." He got up and strolled towards his bike.

"Happy no! Wait listen!" Surprisingly he turned around. "If I tell you this you have to promise not to bring it t the club. Not Jax not Opie, especially not Clay. It stays between us."

"You're not going to justify hitting a woman." I shook my head.

"I just don't want the guys at war with each other. The club is family and that's what matters. Kyle has been harassing me for weeks. He has this weird thing about us being together. He grosses me out Hap. In a way he also scares the shit out of me. Last night, opie and I sat outside drinking my bottle of jack. He went inside to get another one and I fell asleep. Well I woke up to Kyle proclaiming that I belonged to him and I was so scared Hap. So fuckin scared. I ran from him.I fell on my face a few good times but it wasn't cause he hit me. I was trying to get away from him. In my heart I felt if I didn't he would hurt me." He didn't say anything for a few minutes. Meanwhile, I'm on pins and needles waiting for his decision on what he was going to do. I bit my lip. He surprised me yet again by walking over and giving me a slight hug. At first it was kind of awkward but then it was nice. He pulled back and headed towards his bike.

"Go get some sleep. Everything will be fine." And just like that he was on his bike and gone.

I woke up the next morning hoping to avoid my mom. Granted I miss her like hell and I feel like I haven't seen her much. But I really don't want her to see my face looking the way it is. I also didn't want to explain that I was drunk off my ass when it happened. So I stayed in my room until after ten to ensure she was gone. I got up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face the best that I could. I washed the dried blood off and was thankful when I found that some of the swelling around my eye had went down but it was still discolored. My lips were still swollen but if I applied make up it should all be unnoticeable. I walked into the kitchen when a knock announced at my door. I rolled my eyes and shut off my eggs. I knew it was one of two people at my door and I didn't feel like being bothered with either of them this morning.

I opened up the door and there stood none other than Jax Teller. I moved out of the doorway and let him in. I returned back to the stove to finish my eggs. He walked up behind me and every hair on my body stood up. I looked up at him slightly and then quickly looked back towards the pan.

"Do you uh want some?" He took a step back from me and shrugged. I didn't turn to face him until he was sitting at my kitchen table. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing for the conversation that was coming. I threw my eggs in a bowl and made my way towards the table. I sat down and started to eat. I could tell he was struggling with what he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry that you walked in on me and Tara. I know you've never seen that side of me before and I apologize."

"She's your old lady. I understand." I said looking up at him. Whatever he had to say next was lost. He got up out of his chair and sat in the one next to mine. His fingers lightly stroked my eye and bottom lip.

"Luanne, what happened?" I pulled my face out of his hands and continued to eat my eggs.

"I fell," I left it at that. Yeah it wasn't the whole truth but I don't care. He sighed and looked down.

"I know you're upset and I'm sorry. Just don't shut me out Faith." I sorta felt bad. I was the one who walked in on him, not the other way around.

"Its okay Jax, its human nature. " He looked up at me and grinned.

"Yeah? You doing okay? Your eye looks nasty. Where did you fall at?" I shrugged.

"Outside of the clubhouse but I'm good." Jax's phone started to ring.I already knew he was going to walk out of the room so it didn't phase me. He was gone for no longer than five minutes. He came back in looking very much troubled.

"What's wrong Jax?" He just lingered in the doorway. He didn't say a word, he just sorta sat there. His eyes finally met mine and I seen the raw emotion in them.

"You haven't heard from Tara today have you?" I shook my head.

"Despite your strong influence, we're not really friends Jax. So no I haven't seen or heard from her." He rubbed his hand over his mouth. He looked towards the door and didnt meet my eyes for a few moments.

"I think shes gone. She's not at home. She's not answering her phone. Her cars gone and no one has seen her since last night." I got up to hug him just as another knock sounded at the door. I still gave him a hug and then made my way to the door. It was Opie. Was I having a friendship party today and I didn't know it? Opie came in and his eyes went straight to Jax as he cleared his throat. I looked from one of them to the other. The tension was high in the room but I was unsure why. These two had been best friends their entire life, so why was it so awkward? I cleared my throat causing both of them to look at me.

"Do you guys want me to leave or something? Cause if you need to talk that's cool." Both of them seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in and shook their heads. Opie took a seat at my table,followed by Jax. It almost felt like I had done something wrong, like I was getting the 'you're in trouble' speech. Jax broke the silence by talking.

"I think Tara's gone Ope, I don't know what to do. She wanted me to run off with her but I kept putting her off. Charming is my home. The clubs my family. You know what I mean Ope. I don't know anything else." I felt like I was intruding on a private conversation between the two boys I had watched grow into men. My eyes watered up as I truly felt Jax's pain. Tara and I were never the best of friends, I had cursed her quite a few times since I found out that she was trying to take Jax. But watching him in so much pain, I was ready to call her and tell her to come get him. He was completely heart broken and that I couldn't handle. Ope stood up and walked to Jax's chair and gave him a manly kind of hug. They just held each other for a few minutes and Ope pulled back.

"I know it hurts man, but if she really loved you she wouldn't want you to change." I started to walk out of the room, to five them their moment together when Jax grabbed my arm as I walked past his chair.

"You leaving me too?" I shook my head and quickly occupied the seat next to him.

"No I was just giving you privacy I'm sorry. I'll always be here, even if I magically stumble onto . you both always have a place with me. Any man that gets to call me his needs to understand that. You guys will always come first." Jax and Opie locked eyes and both of them shuddered together.

"I don't even want to think about you with some guy I already want to ring his neck." Opie nodded in agreement with Jax's statement. I rolled my eyes.

"Its going to happen sometime guys!" I said throwing my hands in the air. "I'm cute, just because you guys aren't down with all of this don't mean some guy won't be." Opie roared with laughter.

"Yeah and that guy will probably end up dead." Jax laughed too

"Or looking like Kyle," Jax interjected. Huh? I looked between the two of them confused.

"What in the hell are the two of you talking about?" Jax lit up a cigarette and Ope stretched in his chair.

"Well Happy came in last night from god knows where," Ope began. "Were guessing he had a bad night ora bad lay. He walked right up to Kyle, he didn't stop and talk to anyone, he just walked straight up to him and punched him in the face! He didn't stop until Clay pulled him off of him. Oh it was great Faith. You missed it. By the way how did you get home?" I sat there stunned. I guess that was one way to handle the situation while respecting my conditions. I owed that man a big hug and a bottle of Jack. A smile crept onto my face.

"Last time I saw her she came into my room while Tara and I were uh busy." Ope roared with laughter until realization hit.

"If you didn't take her home and I didn't take her home. How in the hell did she get home?" Both of them turned and looked at me and all I could do is smile.

"Maybe it was that magical man I was speaking of." I shrugged my shoulders and got up. "Never know." I left the table and the both of them speechless.

**a/n: Wow! I'm overwhelmed with the reviews I got on the last chapter! Thank u guys so much! 13 reviews! I promise guyss I know where I'm goi g with this and I know it seems slow but I have a lot of ground to cover! Donna and Opie getting married and having kids is just a stat I had to cover the loss of Tara and how exactly it affects Jax. Also adding some happy into the mix was a nice plot change. As always review I love hearing what you guys think good or bad**


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